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499494 04-06-2009 17:17

Engels brief controleren
 
Hallo,

voor engels moet ik een brief schrijven, en ik heb dus al een proefversie gemaakt. Zou iemand deze voor mij willen controleren?
Graag voor vrijdag de 5e(ja, ik weet het, een beetje laat, maar ik ontdekte net pas dit forum!

Dear Sarah,

Thanks for your letter. It was really great to read it. I hope you’ll really like this letter. Last week there was a nice women at our school. She told us about her friend in Ghana. Her friend has built an orphanage for children. The orphanage is called Hannuka Children’s Home. They capture children who don’t have a good home situation. She alse take care of children they are neglected at home. Some of those children don’t have a mum or dad, that is why Marriëtte(the name of her friend in Ghana) takes care of them. Wherefore they came to Marriëte’s child care.

Marieke has wrote a book. The boek is called Obruni, obruni! Obruni means white in the Ghanaian, Obruni is always up to white people in Ghana. Since they are very particular that you are white and all men want to marry you. She has invented the story. Her story is based on Marriëtte’s work in Ghana. The main character is Jolien, a girl from our age. her father has been offered a job in ghana, so the whole family moved to Ghana. Jolien doesn’t like this at all and do not want to move. However, her parents decided that they are going to Ghana, it is for only one year.

Enough about Ghana. Let’s talk about the Holidays. Are you going to go on holiday this summer? I am going to Germany this summer, for a week. All day swimming and late at night to bed. Seven weeks long free, and no homework and school.

Best wishes,

Laura

June bug 04-06-2009 19:38

Mijn verbeteringen zijn dikgedrukt weergegeven.

Dear Sarah,

Thanks for your letter. It was really great to read it. I hope you will (geen afkortingen in een brief) really like this letter. Last week there was a nice woman (women is meervoud) at our school. She told us about her friend in Ghana. Her friend has built an orphanage for children. The orphanage is called Hannuka Children’s Home. They take in (capture is echt vangen) children who don’t have a good home situation. She also takes care of children who are neglected at home. Some of those children do not have a mum or dad, that is why Marriëtte(the name of her friend in Ghana) takes care of them. Wherefore they came to Marriëte’s child care. (Deze laatste zin kun je wel weglaten denk ik, beetje dubbelop. Daarbij is 'wherefore' ook geen woord.)

Marieke has written a book. The book is called Obruni, obruni! Obruni means "white" in (geen 'the' voor een taal in het Engels) Ghanaian, Obruni is always up to (Wat bedoel je met 'up to'? Dit is niet duidelijk.) white people in Ghana. Since they are very (particular is hier niet goed, ik weet ook niet goed wat je wilt zeggen.) that you are white and all men want to marry you. She has made up the story herself. Her story is based on Marriëtte’s work in Ghana. The main character is Jolien, a girl who is our age. Her father has been offered a job in Ghana, so the whole family has moved (Je gebruikt hierboven ook deze tijd dus consequent zijn.) to Ghana. Jolien doesn’t like this at all and does not want to move. However, her parents decide (Je gebruikt in de vorige zin ook tegenwoordige tijd, dus hier dan ook.) that they are going to Ghana, it is for only one year.

Enough about Ghana. Let’s talk about the holidays (Geen hoofdletter hier.). Are you going to go on holiday this summer? I am going to Germany this summer, for a week. I will swim all day and go to bed late every night. Seven weeks off and no homework and school.

Best wishes,

Laura

arPos 06-06-2009 03:59

@ TS: Mijn verbeteringen staan in dat andere topic waar je dezelfde brief geplaatst hebt;

@ Juni beestje;
(geen afkortingen in een brief)
Dit wou ik eerst ook zeggen maar ik ben het er niet mee eens; de brief is namelijk informeel en daarin mogen wel afkortingen.

(Deze laatste zin kun je wel weglaten denk ik, beetje dubbelop. Daarbij is 'wherefore' ook geen woord.)
Hier heb je gelijk in, dat die zin overbodig is; maar wherefore is wel een woord ;)
Citaat:

1where·fore
Pronunciation:
\ˈhwer-ˌfȯr, ˈwer-\
Function:
adverb
Etymology:
Middle English wherfor, wherfore, from where, wher + for, fore for
Date:
13th century
1 : for what reason or purpose : why 2 : therefore
Het is alleen een heel oud woord :)

June bug 06-06-2009 16:36

@ arpos: Over die afkortingen, ja je hebt gelijk, ik dacht er naderhand ook nog aan. En wtf, ik heb echt nog nooit van 'wherefore' gehoord :o Ik ging ervanuit dat TS het afgeleid had van het Nederlandse 'waarvoor' en dan in combinatie met het Engelse woord 'therefore'. Maargoed, weer wat geleerd (y)

arPos 07-06-2009 16:23

Citaat:

June bug schreef: (Bericht 29322057)
@ arpos: Over die afkortingen, ja je hebt gelijk, ik dacht er naderhand ook nog aan. En wtf, ik heb echt nog nooit van 'wherefore' gehoord :o

Niet?;
"Romeo, o Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Citaat:

Ik ging ervanuit dat TS het afgeleid had van het Nederlandse 'waarvoor' en dan in combinatie met het Engelse woord 'therefore'. Maargoed, weer wat geleerd (y)
Ach engels en nederlands scheelt ook weer niet zo veel ;)

Tegenwoordig wordt het wel zelden gebruikt en meestal vervangen door: "why" of "Because"
Vond em wel mooi gevonden.

slechtinengels 29-01-2013 17:32

Hallo.. ik ben heeeel slecht in engels en volgens mij klopt ook helemaal niks van de artikel die ik moest schrijven. We moesten een droom uitleggen wat het zou kunnen betekenen. Een man droomde dat hij op een klein eiland was en toen hij in de zon lag kwam er een vrouw in bikini, als hij haar iets wilde vragen was ze opeens weg. Hier in mijn stukje met wat de droom zou kunnen betekenen.. Zoals ik al zei, ik ben heel slecht in engels.

Dear A. Simpleton

Hello, I think that I mean that the beautiful young lady something will say to you. I think that the beautiful lady a sign is for you. You told me that she goes away when you will talk to her. Maybe your wife think that you loves a another girl and your wife don’t like that. That’s maybe the problem of you dream. Why you shouldn’t talk to her because you’re not allowed to talk and love someone else.

It’s better when you talk with your wife about this dream, you can ask her if she thinks that you loves a another girl. Maybe she says that she don’t think that you loves a another girl. Maybe means the dream this;

That you had a vacation on a small tropical island, maybe a few years ago. That girl on you dream was maybe you wife. Every dream comes she to you and she will told you how much she loves you but there’s one problem?. Why she goes away when you will talk to her because she’s scared and think: “no I can’t say or ask him that.” That problem has she all from the day she saw you. I don’t know what it is, but it’s a very big problem. Talk with her and maybe she told you what she all those years will say to you.

Good luck! And I will hear the problem

Dr. Phantom

Doornroos 30-01-2013 17:02

Dear A. Simpleton,

I truly believe the woman will say something to you. I believe she's a sign for you. You told me she'd go away when you want to talk to her. But maybe your spouse thinks you're meeting another woman and she doesn't like that. I think that's the problem with your dream; I don't really see why you shouldn't talk to her, as it's only her opinion that you're meeting another woman.

It’s better when you talk with your wife about this dream, you could ask her if she thinks you're in love another woman. And maybe she'll even say she doesn't think so. The dream could mean this:

You were on a holiday on a tropical island, probably a few years ago. And the girl in your dream was your wife.

You told me that every time you had the dream, your wife told you how much she loved you. But there was one problem: why did she wander off when you tried to talk to her?
Maybe the reason is because she was scared and thought: “No I can’t say or ask him that.” And maybe that's also the reason why she has always had struggles talking to you.

But actually, I'm just guessing what the problem is. Though I can say that it's probably a rather big one. I think you should try and talk to her. Perhaps she'll even tell you what she wanted to say to you all those years.

Good luck and I am looking forward to hear the outcome,

Sincerely,
Dr. Phantom



Overigens heb ik een beetje moeten gokken wat je met bepaalde dingen bedoelde, dus ik hoop dat ik dat goed heb begrepen.

mathfreak 30-01-2013 18:25

De aanhef moet in ieder geval Dear Mr Simpleton zijn. Je kunt wel A. Simpleton schrijven op de plaats waar de gegevens van de geadresseerde (naam, adres, postcode) vermeld staan.

Dianne91 21-06-2018 16:19

Hey allemaal,
Ik moet een engelse brief schrijven maar ik heb geen idee of dit klopt??
wil iemand dit controleren???

Dear Sir,Madam,

My name is Dianne van Dam. I am a 16-year-old girl and live in Barneveld, a village in the centre of The Netherlands. I am a student at Van Lodenstein College in Amersfoort.
Last holiday I go with my family to South-England, In South -England I went to the supermarket Sainsbury's. In that shop I get a flyer with a campaing against testing of cosmetics products on animals. I like this campaign because I am fiercely against animal tests.
I am annoyed because there are still animal tests. That is why I will do my presentation about animal tests.


But I need more information. Would you like to help me with more information? And is in The Netherlands also a shop from Sainsbury's? And could I interview someone for my presentation?


Could you please sent the information as soon as possible?

Thanking you in advance,


Yours faithfully,


Dianne van Dam

Elin3 21-06-2018 16:23

Kijk nog even heel goed naar de tijden van je werkwoorden, je begint vaak een zin met een duidelijke aanwijzing over het verleden (last holiday, I went) en schrijft vervolgens in de tegenwoordige tijd verder.

Verder niet perfect, maar iets te veel werk om mobiel je brief te herschrijven ;)

mathfreak 21-06-2018 19:15

*ik geef hieronder de tekst met de nodige correcties weer*
Dear Sir,Madam,

My name is Dianne van Dam. I am a 16-year-old girl and live in Barneveld, a village in the centre of the Netherlands. I am a student at Van Lodenstein College in Amersfoort.
Last holiday I went with my family to South England,
*Last holiday verwijst naar het verleden, dus gebruik je de verleden tijdsvorm went*
In South England I went to the supermarket Sainsbury's. In that shop I got a flyer with a campaign against testing of cosmetic products on animals. I like this campaign because I am fiercely against animal tests.
I am annoyed because there are still animal tests. That is why I will do my presentation about animal tests.


But I need more information. Would you like to help me with more information? And is there in the Netherlands also a shop from Sainsbury's? And could I interview someone for my presentation?


Could you please send the information as soon as possible?

Thanking you in advance,


Yours faithfully,


Dianne van Dam

Straatmeid_oud 22-06-2018 13:01

Tijdens is niet alleen het probleem, ook de stijl. Het is een beetje te letterlijk vertaald naar het Engels vanuit het Nederlands. Ik weet niet precies welk niveau je doet, maar ik zou het denk ik allemaal wat anders schrijven. :o


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