Engels Writing Assignment
 

Hallo, zouden jullie deze brief kunnen nakijken en eventueel verbeteren? BEDANKT!!

met name de vet gedrukte stukjes



Adres....
The Netherlands

January 17th, 2006

Dear Cennet,


My name is ......, a boy, and I’m fifteen-years-old.
I live in ... (the Netherlands) with my whole family.

Last week I’ve red about you, in my English class.
I red your artikel in my ‘WaspReporter’ 4.2.

My opinion is that the law gets too far in France. I agree with some
applications but it’s ridiculous when you forbid someone to wear
a headscarve.

The first thing I red about you, is that you stop to wear a headscarve and that
you chose to wear a large beret. I think you do this very well. But I can’t believe
my eyes when I red that the principal forbade you to attend classes while you
wearing your beret. They sent you to a separate room every day and I can imagine
that you were fed up ! So I think it was good to shave your hair. When I was in your
place I would do the same.

In my school the rules are quite different. Headscarves are allowed but headgears
are forbidden in some rooms. The other things, like: tattoos, piercings, sunglasses…ect.
are allowed. So I can say that I go to a school with less rules with regard to clothes.

What does your school say about these things?

When I was the principal, I banned just three things:
- Dresses, shorts, and skirts should be appropriate in length
- Clothes printed with obscene, vulgar or suggestive language or
scenes are prohibited
- Hats, caps, bandanas, and headgear shall not be allowed.

And of course in my school (when I was the principal) the headscarves shall be allowed!


Best wishes,

wat schattig :o
Hier valt wel het een en ander te verbeteren. Ik denk dat er anderen zijn die het veel beter kunnen ;) Het is trouwens to read- read - read. Niet to read - red - red.

A headscarve= a veil.

Adres....
The Netherlands

January 17th, 2006

Dear Cennet,


My name is ......, a boy, and I’m fifteen-years-old (drie woorden, geen streepjes).
I live in ... (the Netherlands) with my whole family (uitbreiden? zussen? broers?).

Last week I’ve red (read) about you, (geen comma) in my English class.
I red (read) your artikel in my ‘WaspReporter’ 4.2.

My opinion is that the law gets (gaat te ver = goes too far) too far in France. I agree with some
applications but it’s ridiculous when you forbid someone to wear
a headscarve (headscarf. veil = sluier :).

The first thing I red (read) about you, is that you stop to wear (stopped wearing) a headscarve (headscarf) and that
you chose to wear a large beret. I think you do this very well (wat bedoel je precies? onduidelijk). But I can’t (v.t. > couldn't) believe
my eyes when I red (read) that the principal forbade you to attend classes while you
(were) wearing your beret. They sent you to a separate room every day and I can imagine
that you were fed up (goed!) ! So I think it was good to shave your hair. When (if) I was in your
place I would do (would have done. Lastige constructie :)) the same.

In my school the rules are quite different. Headscarves (goede spelling) are allowed but headgears (zoals?)
are forbidden in some rooms. The (kan weg) other things, like: (dubbele punt hoeft niet) tattoos, piercings, sunglasses…ect. (etc. - van et cetera)
are allowed. So I can say that I go to a school with less (fewer) rules with regard to clothes (clothing) ----- (voeg 'dan jouw school' toe of herschrijf de hele zin).

What does your school say about these things (waar verwijst dit precies naar?)?

When I was (if I were) the principal, I banned (would ban) just three things:
- Dresses, shorts, and skirts should be appropriate in length
- Clothes printed with obscene, vulgar or suggestive language or
scenes are prohibited
- Hats, caps, bandanas, and headgear shall not be allowed.
(om het iets makkelijker te maken: je mag ook gewoon een opsomming geven: 1) te korte/strakke kleding, 2) obscene kleding, 3) petten, hoeden etc)

And of course in my school (when I was (if I were) the principal) the headscarves shall (would) be allowed!


Best wishes,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ik vind het een goede brief voor wat begrijpelijkheid betreft. Je hebt weinig moeite met jezelf uitdrukken in het Engels. Je gebruikt een aantal mooie uitspraken. Het wordt tijd om wat puntjes op de i te zetten. Ik heb dingen in de brief vetgedrukt met verbeteringen en tips. Zoek eens na hoe je als/dan-uitspraken gebruikt in het Engels. Een voorbeeldzin: If I were a millionaire, I would live in a castle. Die constructie heb je een paar keer fout. Is niet erg, het is een redelijk moeilijke constructie. :)

Egt Super Bedankt dat je er naar gekeken hebt !!!!!

You're quite welcome :)

Is het niet 'a fifteen-year-old' en 'I'm fifteen years old' ?

Ja :o