[Engels] Twee teksten
 

Kan iemand misschien deze twee brieven corrigeren op grammaticale fouten of onzuiverheden, bv rare zinsconstructies of misspellingen? Bij voorbaat dank.

1:

Hi Jan,

Thanks for writing me. I will tell you something about the experiences I had during the job.

At first it was fairly dissappointing. I did not get a chance to learn anything, and was locked up in an office the whole day. It had nothing to do with music whatsoever!

After a while, though, I started to receive other duties, for instance translating English to Dutch, and dealing with English visitors. This was really improving my English vocabulary and speaking skills. As well as it was helping my communicational skills.

Soon I got the chance to do the one thing I originally had taken the job for: visiting festivals for free. I was told to attend some festivals, with music styles differing from hard-rock or metal to funky, laid-back hiphop. This was really te best part of the whole job.

So, after all I did like the job, although the start wasn't all that amazing. Furthermore the earnings were quite good. All in all I would recommend this job to you, for it is great fun, a nice learning experience and it provides a nice amount of money.

Greetings.

2:

Dear Mr S. Martin,

I have read your add and I would like to apply for this position.

There is a great advantage for foreign students to stay at a host family, rather than at a college hostel. For instance: in a hostel the students can hardly get in touch with local culture, whereas with a host family the students really learn something about us and our culture. I think this is good for their overall experience.

I furthermore think that a host family must be very openminded and accesible. This mainly because the students will only move in for a rather short period, thus they have to be able to fit in to our family quite fast.

The reason why I would like to accomodate foreing students, is beacuase of the experiende. Not only for them but also for us. It is great to get to know another culture and to meet new people. Therefore I think being a part of this host family program is an honour not to be underistimated.

Yours faithfully,
Bram Schermers

het valt me op dat je aan begin van beide teksten verwijst naar iets dat niet beschreven staat in het bovenste. "the job" --> welke baan. en de 2e noem je "this position", maar mischien kun je beter even noemen welke positie dat is.

maar als het schoolwerk is, kun je toch ook advies aan je docent vragen?? i bedoel, daar worden ze toch voor betaald?? :s

Mja die dingen waren gegeven in de opdracht. Ik kan het inderdaad vragen aan mijn docent, maar dan zou dit forumdeel wel opgedoekt kunnen worden lijkt me.

De eerste brief is een informele brief, dus dat daar the job zonder verdere verwijzing naar het soort baan in staat is niet zo'n probleem. De tweede brief is een sollicitatiebrief, dus een formele brief, dus daar dient inderdaad wel te worden aangegeven om wat voor vacature het precies gaat.

@Shoarm: In je eerste brief dien je wasn't door was not te vervangen, aangezien je in de rest van je brief ook geen samentrekkingen gebruikt.

Ok bedankt. In de tweede brief, wordt whereas daar goed gebruikt of is dat eigenlijk fout, dat wist ik namelijk niet.

Volgens mij is het 'translate into'.

As well as it was helping --> It helped / improved ... either (klinkt wat beter zou ik zeggen).

where I originally had taken the job for --> where I took the job for in the first place (zelfde reden).

Je gebruikt overigens de verleden tijd (volgens mij de correcte vorm) en de was ...-ing vorm door elkaar. Maar goed, ik heb er ook niet enorm veel verstand van verder.

Whereas kan inderdaad zonder problemen gebruikt worden. Ga verder eens zorgvuldig na wanneer je een progressive (een ing-vorm) wel gebruikt en wanneer niet. Idem voor de verleden tijd en de voltooid tegenwoordige tijd.

nog wat foutjes eruit.

Qua zinsconstructies ed weet ik er te weinig vanaf, maar ik heb wel drie woorden uit de tweede brief die mij anders leken te moeten (maar misschien vergis ik me ;)):

foreing = foreign
beacuase = because?
experiende = experience?

De eerste twee had z0pje ook al gemeld zie ik.:)

Bedankt voor je verbeteringen, ik zal vooral nog even naar m'n tijden kijken want soms klopt daar echt helemaal niets van.

@ Leonoor dat zijn natuurlijk typfouten :) Toch bedankt!

Kan iemand misschien deze twee brieven corrigeren op grammaticale fouten of onzuiverheden, bv rare zinsconstructies of misspellingen? Bij voorbaat dank.

1:

Hi Jan,

Thanks for writing me. I will tell you something about the experiences I had during the job.

At first it was fairly dissappointing. I did not get a chance to learn anything, and was locked up in an office the whole day. It had nothing to do with music whatsoever!

After a while, though, I started to receive other duties, for instance translating English to Dutch, and dealing with English visitors. In het engels kun je niet te pas en te onpas komma's neerplaatsen zoals in het nederlands gebeurt: After a while though, I started to receive other duties such as translating English to Dutch and helping English visitors (dealing with klinkt meer als 'ik moest het ermee doen')

This really improved my English vocabulary, speaking skills and it helped my communicational skills as well .

Soon I got the chance to do the one thing I originally had taken the job for: visiting festivals for free. I was told to attend some festivals with (geen komma!) music styles differing from hard-rock or metal to funky, laid-back hiphop. This really the best part of the whole job.

So after all I did like the job, although the start wasn't all that amazing. Furthermore the earnings were quite good. All in all I would recommend this job to you, for it is great fun, a nice learning experience and it provides a nice amount of money.

Greetings.

2:

Dear Mr S. Martin,

I have read your add and I would like to apply for this position.

It is a great advantage for foreign students to stay at a host family, rather than at a college hostel. (als het is wat k denk dat je wilt zeggen met deze zin) For instance: in a hostel the students can hardly get in touch with the local culture, whereas with a host family the students really learn something about us and our culture. I think this is good for their overall experience.

Furthermore I think that a host family should be very openminded and accesible. This is mainly because the students will only be here (to move in is een werkwoord wat maar even duurt, het verhuizen zeg maar) for a rather short period, thus they have to be able to fit in to our family quite fast.

The reason why I would like to accomodate foreing students, is beacuase of the experiende. Not only for them but also for us. It is great to get to know another culture and to meet new people. Therefore I think being a part of this host family program is an honour not to be underes timated.

Yours faithfully,
Bram Schermers


ik heb vooral je zinsconstructies verbeterd, niet echt gelet op hoe je het spelt of de woordkeuze. Dit hebben anderen ook al gedaan volgens mij. Tuurlijk kan het altijd beter maar denk er vooral aan dat je onderwerp en persoonsvorm niet van elkaar mag scheiden.

Toch lijkt het me handig ze te verbeteren. ;):p