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I hoped you'd die

I started a poem with "I hope you die"
But couldn't write further, I started to cry.
The only reason that I wanted you to,
Was to be together in death, as I died by loving you.

Without you I’m not whole
You’re the other half of my soul.
But I don’t want to be selfish,
So I’ll just die alone,
Useless.
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Don't know what's real anymore:

I started believing
In my dreams.
I’ve gone insane,
Or so it seems.

They say I’m living in an illusion.
But I call it a matter of confusion.

If he loves me not,
Why is he still here, holding my hands?
Why is he still near, says he understands?
If he loves me not.

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Used

It’s easy to get them in my bed to play.
But the hard part is to make them stay.
Soon again they leave the bed.
All that’s left is another memory in my head.

Once again my heart turnes to stone.
As another guy leaves me alone.
Everytime the same mistake,
I believe in a story of love so fake.

All they wanted was my bed,
When they leave my heart feels dead.
How could they fake a love so true,
Make me believe in me and you..

Maybe they just don’t know what it means,
To believe in love and have those dreams.
Or else how could they lie so shameless?
And use me as a toy, like I’m nameless?

They don’t see that the heart they break,
Is too precious for them to just take.
As if it’s made of ice or stone,
Not going to break as they leave me alone.

But I guess it’s just me,
That made the mistake.
Because once again I didn’t see
That that love was fake.
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