eindelijk eens een gedicht niet in 10 min gemaakt
 

't is in elk geval songtekst, misschien rijmt ie wat te makkelijk, te simpel verwoord zou ook kunnen, tevaak dezelfde woorden ofzow

De ene keer als ik em lees vind ik em supertof, maar andere keer weer ineens stuk minder....jullie mening?


Sadly Reality

Meet Jason Stradt who just got sixteen
You can't imagine the trouble he has seen
walking down the street with his daddy and mother
they walked into the ally thought no-one would even bother
his daddy shot by a gun and his mother raped for fun
he just stood there and watched it happen
later on always saying:'Why didn't I had a weapen!'

This is Brandon Trucks, from his 9th using drugs
always getting kicked out of school, thought that would make him cool
On one night it got too much, first a joy-ride and then he killed a guy
his life had already passed him by, didn't even had a chance to say goodbye
Brandon should have gone to jail, but he disappeared without any trail
he was sick of all the dope, ended his life with a worhtless rope

That's Jessica Daily, she thought all was fine, always said:'The world is gonna be mine'
she always was nice to me, even got her high-school degree
then this guy just came along, this is where everything went wrong
she thought she was in love, so she put him into trust, this mistake would leave her to break
She got abused, but the guy was no longer amused so
he decided to slit her throat, just finish her of like some filthy goat
she tried to call the cops, that's where her life stops

Who got anything to say, about the world we live in today
it won't get much better, but for the kids it doesn't even matter
cos their already gone, you can't change the harm that's done
so why should you even care, afterall life's just a scary nightmare


refrijn:
(S)He doesn't really have some place to go
all his(her) family died, most he didn't know
His(her) whole life sucks and (S)he is left alone
but (S)he's not the only one who's gotta make it on his(her) own

vind het refrijn beetje te simpel dus laat het er denk ik uit.

Koel... Lijk wel een beetje op die van Eminem maar ja... Is wel koel om te lezen http://forum.scholieren.com/smile.gif

Ach ja, beetje simpel soms, inderdaad meer een songtekst http://forum.scholieren.com/smile.gif

thankz http://forum.scholieren.com/smile.gif

^ up up ^

absoluut een songtekst
heb je er ook melodie bij?
verder wel okeeee

begeleidende gitaar en korte solo's erbij heb ik
drums en bass komen later misschien nog
wordt soort van rapcore denk ik..maarja weet nog niet zeker :\

zeg, wat heb je met de naam Jason? in da ene gedicht van de winter...striking it's first victim was ook al een jongen die jason heette.(nou moet je niet denken dat ik al je gedichten uit me hoofd leer ofsow, dat had ik gewoon onthouden)
maar het is wel mooi hoor

ik zou je gedicht graag eens willen horen mèt muziek erbij http://forum.scholieren.com/wink.gif
denk dat het verdomde mooi kan klinken
kuszz

ik weet niet precies....vind jason gewoon toffe naam, wou dat'k zelf zo heette, maarja boeit niet :\