Just a test...
 

I read about how people believe that suicide is for attention
People wanting to get noticed
To find out if anyone really cares
Their pain so high
They can barely contain their fears
I've done the suicide scales
Triage system results
They all say the same thing
That I am a high risk suicide
I don't really believe that
I have stress sure
But nothing to kill myself over
To many depend on me
To many need me to be there
I pride myself in being stronger then most
Im always being able to be there
But now I am courious
If what they say is true
Is suicide for attention
Do people really notice at all?
Is this what they do?
I deside to try an experiement
To see how much attention I might get
To see who will notice
How many friends I actually have
I start off small
Just talking a lot about death
That i might not be around for that long
Nobody notices
Nothing changes
They all still expect me to be there for them
To do my strong person thing
I try for something else
Make sure they see me take lots of pills
Still they do nothing
Only joke about me building up a tolerance to tynlon
Disturbed by the lack of insight that they have
I deside to go more dramatic
I use a small jack knife
Cut a thin shallow line
Up part way of one wrist
I do it slowly
It doesn't really hurt much this way
Still they say nothing much
Just that my cat should get her claws cut
They still dump their shit on my shouldars
Like I really care
I did
But here is something beyond obvious
And they do nothing
They don't really care
Well I'll try something more
Really give them proof
I go and sit in the field
Again I carve up my arm
Till I reach my elbows
Then I do it on the other arm
The wind cools my skin
A hand touches my shouldar I jump as the knife digs in
A stranger stares at me
Talking calmly
Asking what it is I'm doing?
So much blood is pooring out
He removes his shirt
Ripping it in half
Telling me each thing he is going to do
As he wraps each half around my arms tightly
His eyes don't leave mine
He talks to me calmly still
Asking me my name
Telling me he cares and doesn't want me to hurt myself anymore
Telling me he is going to now take the knife away
I ask him why
He looks confused
I ask him why he cares?
How did he know
Why is he here?
He smiles and says:
He has noticed me around
Seen that I wasn't acting right
And there was no one else around
I smile sadly
And say my experiement failed
I wanted to see if my friends would notice
If suicidal people actually got attention from any attempts
They don't
Their friends don't notice
Only strangers care enough to save them...
He shakes his head at my logic
Asking me if I can stand
His shirts are soaked through with my blood
He looks worried
And wants to get me into a hospital
I stand
Too much blood has been lost
I collapse
He picks me up
His arms warm and strong
Feet quickly cut across the feild
My head falls to his shouldar
Eyes sliding shut
I catch a glimpse of my friends standing to the side
The wind carries their words to me
She always was so lucky
Look at that babe carrying her away with him....
My last thoughts were
They still don't get it
They still don't see
It took a stranger to care
What happened to me
It was just suppose to be a test
They failed
But I did as well...

hm hijz wel errug lang http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif da was nie zow errug mun bedoeling http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif

Ik kan jou stijl nogsteeds niet ontrafelen... het lijkt niet te kloppen, ik zie foutjes als ik er oppervlakkig naar kijk, maar tog is het zo'n goed geheel, misschien is het de inhoud die het overlapt, de manier waarop je woorden neerzet... ik weet het niet... normaal lees ik niet zo graag lange gedichten, maar bij jou is het telkens weer jammer als ze ophouden... je hebt een gave die mij telkens weer raakt....
zo ook nu weer...
xxx

hier ben ik ut grootste deel wel meej eenz..
meestal alsik zo'n groot txt zie heb ik geen zin om dur aan te beginnen, maar als je dur eenmaal aan begonne ben kan je duz echt niet meer stoppe http://forum.scholieren.com/smile.gif
tlijkt soms meer op un verhaal dan een gedicht, maar hijs mooj

Meer een verkapt verhaal maar zeer sterk http://forum.scholieren.com/biggrin.gif

* is helemaal eens met wat hierboven allemaal geschreven staat aan commentaar* http://forum.scholieren.com/smile.gif

hihi thnx http://forum.scholieren.com/smile.gif ja hm foutjes http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif zitten er wel genoeg in http://forum.scholieren.com/frown.gif ja opzich zeg ik tegen mezelf van ja kee nu een kort klein gedichtje en dan ben ik klaar en dan is het weer vet lang en lijkt het meer op een verhaaltje vet vaag..