songtekstachtig: driving me insane
 

driving me insane

shadows drifting across my vision
is today you're gonna finish your mission?
I turn back, stare into black
my heart beats faster, I wait for an attack
nothing comes I run wrong
I don't even know what I'm really running from
running from my problems when they're in my head
I need to solve something quick before I'm death

whisper whisper li'l devil
crack open the dark sheet and get things level
turn around come charging again
out my window it's really quite vivid
the imagine is sharp even tho it's not clear
that's what's really coming near
I think it's you coming to finish what you started
the world to come finish what it's started
but my own insanity I have been outsmarted

CHORUS
driving me insane
playing it's mind games
all this mental pain
is it here to stay?
driving me insane
from day to day
all this fucked up pain
why won't it go away?

dead, cold in the siol of hate
is that what you wanted me to embrace?
your bullshit ideas rule my head
remembering the things you said...
it's something I can't get ris of
it's just to hard
to think what you do
why should I even fucking listen to you?

what you've done to create this feeling
has paranoid me against the things I'm dealing (with)
I can't control the shadows that cause me to freak
I can't see anymore it's just to bleek
it's all fuzzy but I'm to scared to remember
if I did, would it make anything better?

CHORUS

alone in my corner, by myself
trapped inside, lost in hell
only to witness this lost of sanity
I look at the mirror, and what's standing in front of me?
it's a waste of mind, a waste of time
a waste of a backbone, my mental spine
is washed away, torn again
this is darkness, the winding sound from within
I listen to this words, finding ways against
again and again I'm brought to my lengths
a demon withing, ripping me apart
from mymind to my soul shreding through my heart
leaving nothing in it's path, but contrentation
I don't know if this is real, or my imagination
I pray and see a light, but it dimly fades
so walk away from me and close the shades

CHORUS

(whispered)
I close my eyes, open them to see the same darkness
no vision filling me with fear
I close my eyes and see the same coldness
numbed, the end must be near

at night, all the noises...
my mind, all the voices...
my life, all the choises, choises, choises....






[ja dit was m.... ik ben er niet echt tevreden over, vooral het chorus niet, en ik hoop dat iemand aanwijzingen heeft hoe ik het zou kunnen verbeteren ofzo]

shadows drifting across my vision
is today you're gonna finish your mission?
I turn back, stare into black
my heart beats faster, I wait for an attack
nothing comes I run wrong
I don't even know what I'm really running from
running from my problems when they're in my head
I need to solve something quick before I'm death

whisper whisper li'l devil
crack open the dark sheet and get things level
turn around come charging again
out my window it's really quite vivid
the imagine is sharp even though it's not clear
that's what's really coming near
I think it's you coming to finish what you started
the world to come finish what it's started
but my own insanity I have been outsmarted

CHORUS
driving me insane
playing it's mind games
all this mental pain
is it here to stay?
driving me insane
from day to day
all this fucked up pain
why won't it go away?

dead, cold in the soil of hate
is that what you wanted me to embrace?
your bullshit ideas rule my head
remembering the things you said...
it's something I can't get risk? of
it's just to hard
to think what you do
why should I even fucking listen to you?

what you've done to create this feeling
has paranoid me against the things I'm dealing (with)
I can't control the shadows that cause me to freak
I can't see anymore it's just to bleak?
it's all fuzzy but I'm to scared to remember
if I did, would it make anything better?

CHORUS

alone in my corner, by myself
trapped inside, lost in hell
only to witness this lost of sanity
I look at the mirror, and what's standing in front of me?
it's a waste of mind, a waste of time
a waste of a backbone, my mental spine
is washed away, torn again
this is darkness, the winding sound from within
I listen to this words, finding ways against
again and again I'm brought to my lengths
a demon within?, ripping me apart
from my mind to my soul shredding through my heart
leaving nothing in it's path, but contrentation???
I don't know if this is real, or my imagination
I pray and see a light, but it dimly fades
so walk away from me and close the shades

CHORUS

(whispered)
I close my eyes, open them to see the same darkness
no vision filling me with fear
I close my eyes and see the same coldness
numbed, the end must be near

at night, all the noises...
my mind, all the voices...
my life, all the choices, choices, choices....



[paar foutjes... verder even geen tijd]

... -kwenie wat t voor'n text is.. maar lijkt wel een beetje Urban ofso...zet er wat meer Urban elementen in (kledingmerken, crystal, cars, cash, girls, drugs, tv-personalities...etc)
-haal in ieder geval een paar herhalingen eruit-> dit element pas je net iets te veel toe
-Ook moet je er 's op gaan letten of het wel in een song past (als het voor een song is natuurlijk...), je eerste verse is vrij kort in vergelijking tot de laatste twee... probeer ze 's gelijk te krijgen.
-haal ook de standaard rijmwoorden eruit (pain/insane/game), probeer hier iets originelers voor te verzinnen.

verder lijkt ie me voor een text waarvan je zelf nog niet helemaal zeker bent wel redelijk ok... beetje verfijnen en aanscherpen alleen....

te veel rijm imo

idd...met een beetjuh werk kan hier wel iets leuks gemaakt van worden though!!!

urban? :) hmm kgeloof dat je het meer in de trand moet zoeken van rustige rock muziek met een redelijk lekker ritme erin en af ent oe een uitstoot van de drums :) kweenie hoor maar het kan alles zijn :)
kweetniet watvoornmuziek mijn vriendin van houd :) :P

kvinnum wel leuk, en het commentaar van Cit alleen dan zijn eerste stukje behoort niet tot mijn commentaar :) dus geen urban :) maar nog 1 ding: sommige van je zinnen zijn nogal lang, als je als 2e stap een ritme arachter douwt, dan worden het van die gezongen stukken waarbij je je adem gaat inhouden :), dat soort dingen kan je heel makkelijk oplossen door er gewoon een ladig komma's tussen te zetten, maar op zich is dat niet echt een probleem.
Kdenk dta je het gewoon zo kan laten en af en toe wat woorden verwisselen, want ik douwde mijn gitaar daaronder *jaah improvisatie* en t klonk op zich wel leuk, maar sommige zinnen waren beetje aan de lastige kant om een goed ritme in te vinden, want als je in een nr elke zin in een ander ritme doet, jah duh dan klinkt het niet :)

idee: we kunnen morgen, lees vandaag (als jij dit leest), dus zondag. wel kijken of dit wat is voor de band :)

kiz luv u :)