I’m at school with my so called friends
they’re laughing and joking, having fun
but I wonder why I’m here
and not out in the open
I wonder why I’m feeling bad for months
why I can’t laugh, can’t joke, can’t have fun
I wonder why I’m getting sick of my friends
wonder why I’m always moody
wonder why I only feel good in his arms
why his arms give me warmth and strength
to carry on in this meaningless life
I’m wearing bright colours
but my mind is black as coal
I listen to the stories about the fun everyone had
“How were your holidays?”, anyone asks
“Good”, I hear myself reply
why am I lying, why can’t I tell the truth?
why don’t I say everything sucks,
that I want to go away, far away
I hate school, I really hate it!
“Be happy!”, or else they’ll punish you
they’ll ask why you’re feeling bad
will think they can help you
I don’t know why they think they’ll help me
by spreading my problems all over the world
they only help themselves become more popular
I know there’ll come a moment
I’ll explode, burst in 5000 pieces
bye bye me…
7 januari 2002
__________________
...amen...
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