[Verhaaltje]~My Fake Gonzo Dream~ (incl. spelfouten)

[De Nacht]

~My Fake Gonzo Dream~










There I was. Trapped in the room with a pink ceiling, yellow walls and a white floor. I was crying so hard my eyeball fell out. Tears of blood where dripping down the empty hole in my face and my head was starting to hurt. It was like something exploded right in the middle of my brains and was screaming: 'RED ALERT, RED ALERT!'.

I was starting to get agressive and decided to knock down the yellow walls. It hurted like hell but I got the fucker down, he was dying on the floor as I laughed at him fair and square. 'That's because you're to fucking yellow, it makes my head hurt'. And the wall screamed and cried and he told me he was sorry for being yellow. I told him to fuck off, and I walked out of this fucking room, with only one eyball left.

It was black outside. Pitch black, like a anus hole that's never been wiped before. Like a burka of one of those ladies in Afghanistan. You couldn't thsee a fuck of the truth, because it was way too dark. But I decided I'd walk out of is colourful, way to happy 'n crappy coffin I was in and dig my way up.

I must've walked a thousand miles for a thousand days and I still couldn't see shit. My only eyeball left just didn't get used to the light. It was really iritating I could cry, but I didn't in the fear of losing my other eyeball. That would suck pretty much cause then I would never see again you know?

Anyway, after what was probably more then a thousand miles I bumped into something. I think it was a fat lady but I'm still nog quite sure what is was. It stank really bad, just like the sweat of those fat ladies you always see, hear and smell and the gym. I hate those fat ladies. They make me sick. I hate it when they go on the running machine that is close to me. The chubby bodies only shake like a fucking drill pudding for 10 seconds and then they get exhausted, but 10 seconds are enough to make me vomit. I just love to fill the room with my undigested food and give the blame on those fat ladies.

But anyway, the thing I bumped into was mumpling something. It sounded something like:
'igegegooright'. It sounded like a person with a down syndrom, a very tired person or just plain old George W. Bush with a huge pitch down.

Igegegooright... Ahhh.. Go right. I was starting to get it, and I went right. I walked for what seemed like another five thousand miles and I was starting to go mad. I just wanted to get the fuck out of this place.

Suddenly, the room with the pink ceiling, yellow walls and the white floor didn't seem half so bad as I remembered. Homesickness was starting to brew in my stomach. It felt like crap, so I decided to fart and it was gone. If I rememberd the way I had walked, I probably would've walked back. But this was no option right now, I had to continue to walk to reach my destination, whatever that was.

For only a brief moment I thought I saw a star. At least, something that looked like it. It was gone in only 9 seconds or so. Perhaps it was 10, I don't know, I can't remember. It was such a pretty light. It nearly blinded my eye. That would suck pretty much cause then I would never see again you know? So luckily, it didn't happen.

I decided to call a friend of mine, his name is Vincent. I asked him for some advice on how to get the fuck out of here and he told me:

Quote:

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”


There was a deadly silence which seemed to last for decades. Then I told him to fuck himself and I hung up. Geez, what use do you have from your friends these days? Let me tell you; absolu-te-ly NOTHING. But Vincent.. Vincent is a different story. Vincent and I are good drinking mates. We share a lot in common. He misses an ear and I miss an eye, so I guess that kind of makes us soulmates, right? He also is very poor, and so am I.

Anyway, I kept on walking, hoping to find whatever I was looking for. After I while I saw the star again. I decided to ran to it, and the more I ran to it, the brighter it got. And it turned brighter, and brighter, and eventually I passed out.

When I woke up, I didn't know where I was, what to do or what to say. It was like a dream.