paar gedichtjes van ikke... graag jullie mening

[framboosje]

'k zou graag jullie mening willen over die gedichtjes van mij, maar euh, 'k zou et wel appreciëren, moest je ze niet kopiëren of zo! thx!!


I feel so lonely...
it's just like I'm allone,
like no one cares about me.
I know you care,
and I'm happy to know,
but still I feel lost,
lost in the night,
like ther's no way to the sun.
There are a lot of stars,
who give me some light
and one of those stars,
is you.
I'm happy you passed by
and I'm so happy we're friends,
'cause you bring me tah light,
that no one else brougt me before...



I think, that when I'm dead
and everyone will have forget me,
I will come back...
I will walk on earth again,
but I will also be able to fly.
I will help people
and I will try to make their lifes magic.
I want that every human being
has seen an angel before they die...
and maybe it's time for me to die,
'cause I saw an angel fly...

[tacidvs]

framboosje schrijfte:
[COLOR=red]
I think, that when I'm dead
and everyone will have forget me,
I will come back...
I will walk on earth again,
but I will also be able to fly.
I will help people
and I will try to make their lifes magic.
I want that every human being
has seen an angel before they die...
and maybe it's time for me to die,
'cause I saw an angel fly...

Wij zijn vandaag ietwat ijdel en klierig, dus beginnen we verkeerd begin eerst, lekker pûh.

Mooi einde. "will have forgotten me" ipv ~. An ye make a life magic, you convert it into it. Beter om magically te gebruiken, nog beter een list te verzinnen ( nog een, da ) want 'magically' past hier niet.

Wij zijn ook nog wat in de war, maar dat zie je wel aan onze reply.

[tacidvs]

En we zijn gek, of dit forum-ding, want ik heb toch echt iets groen gequote...