You hit me
You beat me
Gave me bruises on top of bruises
Taught me cruelity first hand
Showed me methods of torture I never dreamed possible
All because "you cared"
Because I didn't have dinner on the table two mins earlier
I didn't pick up your briefcase immediately at the door
The house now looks messy
So you hit me
Breaking priceless china
Shattering tables
Splitting my fleash
I hated you
Yet loved the you I met two years before
I stayed to try to find that same person
The lie I fell in love with
Finally I got out
You hit too hard
The hospital reported you
The police arrested you
The jail held you
I healed
Left the white hospital
Back to the home where you were in control
I panicked at the mess in the rooms
Three days worth of dust
You would be so mad
I tried to leave it
But memories of your fist still forcing me to get up at Midnight
My sore body frantically cleaning
Shining the wooden frames
Which were sturder then the rest
Ones that hurt more to crash into
But didn't break as easily
I collapsed into bed
Just as the sun rose
Slept for two hours
The awoke in fear
I slept in
I jump up
Seeing the empty bed
Fear that you already got up
I run to the kitchen in sleep induced haze
Scramble to make you your favorite breakfast
Steaming hot eggs and toast placed perfecetly on the table
"Darling, breakfast in ready"
The house echos my silence
I remember now
He is in jail
I sit down in his chair
Feeling his disproval
I move to my own seat
Stiring up the eggs
I eat his breakfast
The one I hate
He hates wasting food
I clean the kitchen
The make my bed
Cleaning up the house
My body tired and exhasted
I collapse at the end of the day
Tears stream down my face
The terror of his anger
Always dictated my day
But I don't have that now
I float aimlessly
Seeing my mistakes everywhere
No wonder he hit me
I'm useless
I'm lost without him
He only guide me
Like a wayward child needed to be guided
I pick up the phone
Drop the charges
He is released the next morning
I was up early
The house perfect
I just placed breakfast on the table
When he walks throught the door
I smile and meet him
"Hunny, breakfast is ready"
His fist slams my head back
I fall into the wall
Then his booted feet
Breaking through my ribs
Picking me up
Slaming me down
No words
Just silent rage
My vision dims.
I see all the blood
My blood
Covering the walls
Staining the carpet
Finally it ends
He walks to the kitchen
Sits down to his now cool breakfast
"Clean up that mess you made"
Is all he says
I whimper as I try to crawl to the kitchen to get a cloth
He kicks me as I walk past
I feel a sharp peircing through my lungs
Feel them fill up with fliud
I crawl back to the hallway
Never making
Choking on my own blood
I collapse
Eyes staring in blank horror
I watch one moment
As he yells at me
I see him get up from the table
I don't understand how I can see him
I'm looking the other way
I look down
See my body laying there
I realize there is no pain
I see his rage again
Panicked I bend down
Trying to move my body
My fingers touch nothing
I watch him
Kicking me
I see his hate
I know he hates me
I failed him again
My soul cries at all the disappointment I brought him
The pollice come in
Takeing the body away
I see their disgust
Their grim determination
I try to follow them
Unable to leave the house
I am trapped here
No one hears my screams
My terror at being left behind
They took him away
To jail again
Saying he will never get out now
I failed him again
I wonder the house when everone left
Unable to touch anything solid
Unable to clean
I am trapped in a dirty prision
Lost
__________________
Sorry, Was I screaming again?
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