Even ter verduidelijking: Dit is een "rap/poem"
I live to start healing, first dealing with my feelings.
I shuffle emotional scuffles while I`m reeling.
Peeling every muscle to muffle my dreams,
as I scream, struggling against his regime.
Denial is the theme, but emotions that were concealed now appeal.
To see how real my troubles can be revealed.
Stressed with ideals, but meditation sets me at ease,
so I kneel while my mind`s trying to appease.
And I freeze, cause it`s too heavy to stand on these feet.
So I retreat and I crawl, sprawled over winters leaves cursed with deceit.
Exposing his sinners sea, hiding the inner me.
When he chose to sacrifice his sanity by submitting me.
I`m beginning to see his brutality,
that was hidden by intimacy and I take a deep breath.
Fingers that were meant to caress, were grim reapers.
They represented death.
The more he attempted my ventings, seemed so extended.
Like they never left.
However deaf to the plea of a parrot from a kid gasping for air and
hunted by an animal who ppl refer to as my male parent.
Transparent is my frail inherent and on the scale of apparent,
his raising methods failed and were aberrant, so again I creep.
And I began to weep, the child inside of me
is still freightened when I try to sleep.
Realising nightmares can flow deep
and that I raise anger to keep demons at close reach.
Undaunted by fear, but as I stare I pour tears.
imagine that I`m bondless, even when I felt hunted for years.
Through a gaunlet of fear and animosity,
even though my past made me see things differently.
And the empty words that he promised me,
possibly made me what I always wanted to be.
I`m longing to be free so I arise as I cry to stand.
My price`ll be high while I`m making amends
and on my own feet I shall try to depend.
I will abide by sands of time without glass.
And at last I will understand true happiness in my own happy end.
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