brief engels

[moi_proef]

Hallo, ik moet voor Engels een brief schrijven, maar daar ben ik héél erg slecht in. ik hoop dat iemand onderstaande brief wilt nakijken. (ik weet dat de opmaak niet klopt, met adres etc, maar dat verander ik nog wel.. het gaat me nu puur om de inhoud) De opdracht bij de brief heb ik hier niet bij de hand, maar het is ass. 29 uit wasp reporter 2.


Dear Ryan Bell,

My name is Liesbeth, and I am 15 years old. I come from the Netherlands, a little country in Europe.

I know what is happened to you, because I red it in a magazine at school, named Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict with the behaviour of the pupils. Downside want to posssess Christian boys who ‘gedragen zich’ honest, but I think that isn’t possible. There always be pupils who are bold and have a big mouth.

It’s not nice for you that you are expelled from school, but I think it is the right solution. You were so ill through the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen. But it is the third time you had been in trouble! Now for under age drinking, a time ago for vandalisme and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that you are going to think better about your behaviour at school.


Your sincerly



Liesbeth

[Hoipiepeloi]

moi_proef schreef op 18-01-2004 @ 14:42:
Hallo, ik moet voor Engels een brief schrijven, maar daar ben ik héél erg slecht in. ik hoop dat iemand onderstaande brief wilt nakijken. (ik weet dat de opmaak niet klopt, met adres etc, maar dat verander ik nog wel.. het gaat me nu puur om de inhoud) De opdracht bij de brief heb ik hier niet bij de hand, maar het is ass. 29 uit wasp reporter 2.


Dear Ryan Bell,

My name is Liesbeth, and I am 15 years old. I come from the Netherlands, a little country in Europe.

I know what is happened to you, because I red it in a magazine at school, named Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict with the behaviour of the pupils. Downside want to posssess Christian boys who ‘gedragen zich’ honest, but I think that isn’t possible. There always be pupils who are bold and have a big mouth.

It’s not nice for you that you are expelled from school, but I think it is the right solution. You were so ill through the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen. But it is the third time you had been in trouble! Now for under age drinking, a time ago for vandalisme and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that you are going to think better about your behaviour at school.


Your sincerly



Liesbeth

Ik ben ook niet zo goed in Engels, maar:

I come from the Netherlands lijkt me niet goed, misschien I am?
Is happened moet denk ik zijn: has happened.
Red moet zijn read.
Named kun je denk ik ook beter niet gebruiken, ik weet ook niet hoe het wel moet. Misschien gewoon dat 'named' weglaten?
Moet with niet zijn about of zo?
Be moet zijn will be.
It's not nice --> It isn't nice (zou ik gebruiken, ik weet niet of dat andere niet mag)
It is the right solution --> This is the right solution.
Vandalisme: moet dit niet vandalism zijn, zonder e?
I hope that you are going to think better about your behaviour at school. Deze zin lijkt me ook niet goed, met dat 'going to think'.
Your sincerly --> Yours sincerely (zoiets dan, kijk maar ff in het woordenboek )

[moi_proef]

Bedankt voor je reactie, dat vandalisme moet idd vandalism zijn.. typfoutje.

[mathfreak]

"Zich gedragen" wordt vertaald als "to behave"', dus je krijgt "Downside wants to have Christian boys who behave honestly". In plaats van het bijwoord honestly kun je ook "in an honest way" gebruiken.
"You were so ill through the alcohol" is niet juist. Je moet "through" vervangen door "because of". Ik neem aan dat je van het Nederlandse "door" bent uitgegaan, maar omdat dat hier niet als voorzetsel wordt gebruikt, maar in de betekenis "vanwege" is jouw vertaling met "through" dus niet juist.
Wat de zin voor de slotformule betreft zou ik daar "I hope that you will pay more attention to the way you behave at school" van maken.

[moi_proef]

Bedankt voor jullie reacties
Nu ziet mijn brief er zo uit:


Oosterweg 87
1222 HJ Hilversum
The Netherlands

Mr R. Bell
...
...
Great-Britain

January 19, 2004


Dear Ryan Bell,

My name is Liesbeth, and I am 15 years old. I come from the Netherlands, a little country in Europe.

I know what is happened to you, because I read it in a magazine at school; Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict about the behaviour of the pupils. Downside wants to have Christian boys who behave in a honest way, but I think that isn’t possible. There always will be pupils who are bold and have a big mouth.

It isn’t nice for you that you are expelled from school, but I think this is the right solution. You were so ill because of the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen. But it is the third time you had been in trouble! Now for under age drinking, a time ago for vandalism and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that you will pay more attention to the way you behave at school.


Your sincerely




Liesbeth


Is het zo al beter? hoop van wel.... iig bedankt.
*kijkt lief en hoopt op nog meer reacties*

[A loved one]

moi_proef schreef op 19-01-2004 @ 19:26:
Dear Ryan Bell,

My name is Liesbeth, and I am 15 years old. I come from the Netherlands, a little country in Europe.

I know what is happened to you, because I read it in a magazine at school; Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict about the behaviour of the pupils. Downside wants to have Christian boys who behave in a honest way, but I think that isn’t possible. There always will be pupils who are bold and have a big mouth.

It isn’t nice for you that you are expelled from school, but I think this is the right solution. You were so ill because of the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen. But it is the third time you had been in trouble! Now for under age drinking, a time ago for vandalism and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that you will pay more attention to the way you behave at school.

Your sincerely

Liesbeth

Is het zo al beter? hoop van wel.... iig bedankt.
*kijkt lief en hoopt op nog meer reacties*

1. I know what has happened to you, in plaats van what is happened to you.
2. There will always be --> betere woordvolgorde
3. that you have been expelled --> klinkt wat mooier
4. ... Bath; that was not right, but it can happen. --> klinkt wat natuurlijker...
5. 'But it is the third time you had been in trouble!' dit heeft meerdere tijdsbepalingen, dus of kiezen voor 'it is the third time you are in trouble' of 'it was the third time you were in trouble'. Het is niet fout, maar persoonlijk vind ik het zo mooier klinken...
6. Now --> this time
7. a time ago --> some time ago of a while ago
8. 'Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault. ' Dit is ook niet fout, maar ik denk dat een andere zin de boodschap beter zou overbrengen... iets als 'you shouldn't be so surprised about the fact that you have been expelled now, because it is your own fault'. Denk ik.

Nog één ding: ik geloof dat je Great Britain zonder koppelteken mag schrijven

De brief is trouwens zeker beter geworden, dit zijn dan ook alleen maar suggesties

[Briseïs]

'a little country' moet 'a small country' zijn.
De puntkomma voor 'wasp reporter' moet volgens mij een dubbele punt zijn (niet dat dat zo belangrijk is).
'in a honest way' moet zijn 'in an honest way'.
'but I think that isn't possible' is minder mooi dan 'but I think that's impossible', of 'but I don't think that's possible.
'who are bold' moet volgens mij 'that are bold' zijn, maar daar ben ik niet zeker van.
'sick' klinkt beter dan 'ill'.
En het moet 'yours sincerely' zijn.

De rest is geloof ik al zo'n beetje verbeterd.

Ik heb morgen een tentamen brief in het Engels..

[Liss]

Er moet alleen nog een komma achter 'Yours sincelery' omdat je na 'Dear Ryan Bell' ook een komma hebt staan.

moi_proef schreef op 19-01-2004 @ 19:26:
Bedankt voor jullie reacties
Nu ziet mijn brief er zo uit:


Oosterweg 87
1222 HJ Hilversum
The Netherlands

Mr R. Bell
...
...
Great-Britain

January 19, 2004


Dear Ryan Bell,

My name is Liesbeth, and I am 15 years old. I come from the Netherlands, a little country in Europe.

I know what is happened to you, because I read it in a magazine at school; Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict about the behaviour of the pupils. Downside wants to have Christian boys who behave in a honest way, but I think that isn’t possible. There always will be pupils who are bold and have a big mouth.

It isn’t nice for you that you are expelled from school, but I think this is the right solution. You were so ill because of the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen. But it is the third time you had been in trouble! Now for under age drinking, a time ago for vandalism and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that you will pay more attention to the way you behave at school.


Your sincerely




Liesbeth


Is het zo al beter? hoop van wel.... iig bedankt.
*kijkt lief en hoopt op nog meer reacties*

Oosterweg 87
1222 HJ Hilversum
The Netherlands

Mr R. Bell
...
...
Great-Britain

January 19, 2004


Dear Ryan Bell,

My name is Liesbeth geen komma and I am 15 years old. I
am
from the Netherlands, a small country near Great-Britain


I know what has happened to you geen komma because I read it in a magazine at school; Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict about the behaviour of the pupils. Downside wants to have Christian boys who behave in a honest way, but I think that isn’t possible. There always will be pupils who are bold and have a big mouth.

It isn’t nice for you that you are expelled from school, but I think this is the right solution. You were so ill because of the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen <- zegt men meestal niet in het engels, en deze zin klinkt zowieso niet helemaal goed

. But it is the third time you had been in trouble of: But it is the third time you got into trouble Now for under age drinking, a while
ago for vandalism and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that you will pay more attention to the way you behave at school.


Yours
sincerely
,


Liesbeth

en nog een tip waar je engels beter van wordt, tenminste, mij heeft het veel geholpen

praat veel met buitenlandse mensen op msn/ chats/fora etc.. daar word je engels echt beter van, je gaat dingen opzoeken in woordenboeken, je woordenschat wordt vergroot enz.

als je internet toch hebt, kun je het net zo goed gebruiken en dan hoeft het niet speciaal met engelsen te zijn, maar ook met italianen/spanjaarden/grieken weet ik veel

[Konijn]

En 'what is happened' moet nog steeds 'what has happened' worden.

[Friedman]

De vertaling van per piacere klopt niet.

Dear Ryan Bell, Dear Mr. Bell of Dear Ryan

My name is Liesbeth and I am 15 years old. I am am living in
from the Netherlands, a small country near Great Britain

I know what has happened to you because I have read it your story in a magazine at school; Wasp Reporter.

I think Downside is very strict about the behaviour of the pupils has a very strict policy towards the behaviour of. Downside wants to have Christian boys who behave in a honest way, but I think that isn’t possible but I don't think that is possible. There will always be pupils ones who are bold and have a big mouth.

It isn’t nice enjoyable for you that you are have been/were expelled from school, but I think this is the right solution. You were so ill sick, ill is de griep because of the alcohol that you had to be taken to the Royal United Hospital in Bath, that is not good, but that can happen. which obviously is not a good thing

But itthis is was the third time you got into trouble. Now for under age drinking, a while ago for vandalism and for being implicated in the theft of another boy’s mobile phone at Downside. Of course you are expelled, it’s your own fault.

I hope that in the future you will pay more attention to the way you behave at school. to your behaviour at school


Yours
sincerely