engels verhaal nakijken

[marjoleintjee]

heej,
ik had even een vraagje:
heeft iemand misschien tijd om mijn brief na te kijken.
want ik zelf ben niet zo goed in engels. vooral de werkwoorden zijn een ramp

A few years ago there was living a young girl. She was six years old.
She lived in a big house in the wood and they called her Kim.
She was alone at home, because her familie is on holiday.
They were forget her, when she slept last night at the garret. When she waked up they were
gone.
At the first time she was afraid to be alone , but later she was happy and she did everything
that usually was forbidden. She jumped on the bed, ate sweets and played at the room of her sister. She has made a piggery of the house. She slept too late. But two days later when she was eating, there stopped a car in front of her window. Two men get out the car and walked to the big house. She closed the curtains and walked upstairs to her bedroom and opened the window to listen what the two men said. This is what she heard:house…tomorrow…vault(=kluis)… money…, she knew enough. Tomorrow they will come back. She must do something, but what? She didn’t know something and there was nobody else, who could help her? She looked down and saw the two men in the garden. Kim tried to phone her parents, but she wasn’t successful. When it was ten o’clock, she went to bed.The next day she made a plan for the evening. She has phoned the police, but they won’t listen to her. They said to her: you have a lot of phantasy. Then she remembered the words of the criminals, they had said something about a vault… if that’s true… I am rich. She took her skipping-rope and her marbles. At the same time, she saw that the car of the criminals stopped before her house. She went upstairs and spied upon (bespioneerde) the burglars, when they were standing to the frontdoors. She threw her marbles down, the burglars couldn’t do something and they fell. They stood up and they broke open the door. Then they got a skipping rope to their head. She picked up her skipping-rope from the floor and binded them fast.
She rang the police and they came immediately to pick up the burglars.
They were really surprised, because they were looking for the burglars for years
and now a little girl has caught them. The next day came her familie back. They were worried about Kim. She was at home for three days on her own. When they were in the kitchen, Kim told everything what had happen, but they didn’t believe her. The next day the police came along. They gived Kim a present, because they wanted to thank her so very much. Her sister was jealous and her parents were surprised. At the first time they thought Kim had done something wrong, but the police narrated what had happen and they were proud at Kim. Then Kim came in and would like to ask something to her parents. Why did the criminals ask about a vault? Her mother told her: We have a secret card from our ancestors and the card is sealed with gold, so you could sell the card for a lot of money.

en nog een vraagje : zit hier rising action + climax + falling action in ??

[mathfreak]

*ik geef hieronder de tekst met de nodige correcties weer*

A few years ago there was a young girl. She was six years old.
She lived in a big house in the woods and her name was Kim.
*het bos en de bossen worden altijd als the woods vertaald*
She was alone at home, because her family was on holiday.
*omdat je in het begin van de zin een verleden tijd gebruikt moet je dat op het eind van de zin ook doen*
They had forgotten her, when she slept last night at the garret. When she woke up they had gone.
*to wake up is een onregelmatig werkwoord dat vervoegd wordt als wake up-woke up-woken up*
At first she was afraid to be alone, but later on she was happy and she did everything that usually was forbidden. She jumped on the bed, ate sweets and played at the room of her sister. She made a piggery of the house. She went to sleep too late. But two days later when she was eating, a car stopped in front of her window. Two men get out the car and walked to the big house. She closed the curtains and walked upstairs to her bedroom and opened the window to listen to what the two men said. This is what she heard: house…tomorrow…vault… money…, she knew enough. Tomorrow they would come back.
*omdat je het verhaal in de verleden tijd vertelt moet je would in plaats van will gebruiken*
She had to do something, but what? She didn’t know anything and there was nobody else, who could help her. She looked down and saw the two men in the garden. Kim tried to phone her parents, but she wasn’t successful. When it was ten o’clock, she went to bed. The next day she made a plan for the evening. She had phoned the police, but they wouldn’t listen to her. They said to her: you have a lot of imagination. Then she remembered the words of the criminals, they had said something about a vault… She thought:if that’s true I am rich. She took her skipping-rope and her marbles. At the same time, she saw that the car of the criminals stopped before her house. She went upstairs and spied upon the burglars, when they were standing at the front door.
*front door wordt altijd los van elkaar geschreven*
She threw her marbles down, the burglars couldn’t do anything and they fell. They stood up and they broke open the door. Then they got a skipping rope to their head. She picked up her skipping-rope from the floor and tied them up.
She rang the police and they came immediately to pick up the burglars.
They were really surprised, because they were looking for the burglars for years
and now a little girl had caught them. The next day her family came back.
*let op het verschil in woordvolgorde tussen het Engels en het Nederlands*
They were worried about Kim. She had been at home for three days on her own. When they were in the kitchen, Kim told everything what had happened, but they didn’t believe her. The next day the police came along. They gave Kim a present, because they wanted to thank her so very much.
*to give is een onregelmatig werkwoord dat vervoegd wordt als give-gave-given*
Her sister was jealous and her parents were surprised. At first they thought Kim had done something wrong, but the police told what had happened and they were proud of Kim. Then Kim came in and would like to ask something to her parents. Why did the criminals ask about a vault? Her mother told her: We have a secret card from our ancestors and the card is sealed with gold, so you could sell the card for a lot of money.

Uit je tekst blijkt dat je vaak letterlijk van het Nederlands naar het Engels hebt vertaald. Let in dat geval op het verschil in woordvolgorde tussen het Engels en het Nederlands, en op het correct weergeven van bepaalde uitdrukkingen in het Engels. In het laatste geval is het raadzaam om de juiste vertaling van een uitdrukking van het Nederlands in het Engels in je woordenboek op te zoeken. Let verder ook op het gebruik van de juiste tijdsvormen en het onderscheid tussen regelmatige en onregelmatige werkwoorden.

[marjoleintjee]

echt heel erg bedankt

[mathfreak]

marjoleintjee schreef:

echt heel erg bedankt

Graag gedaan.

verhaal van home alone gejat