Engelse tekst

Wie wil mij helpen met de verbetering hiervan?
Alvast bedankt!

Writing practice : Me and money

I’m definitely not a big spender. Every weak I receive ten euros. I use the money to pay the entrance of parties and to buy drinks. The rest of the money I save in my money-box. When I’ve enough money saved in my money-box, my father puts it on my bank account. I hardly never buy something with the money. In the seldom case I buy something, I buy a game to play on my PlayStation. You could say that I’m happy with my budget. I don’t need more money in my daily life.
But money is still important to me however I hardly buy something. My goal is to save enough money to build or buy my own house when I’m grow up. I’m also saving some money to buy a car so I can drive to my new school where I’m going to study next year. You will also know that driving a car, can cost allot of money. You also have to spend money onto buying fuel to run your car.
Like I already said, my father takes care of my bank affairs. I’m not acquainted with my bank affairs. I’m not even in possession of a bank card. I’ve used it only one time when I was on holiday in France to buy some tickets for the subway. However I had never used my bank card, it went very smooth.
My biggest purchase was a sound system of 160 euros. It was a well thought out purchase, because I’m still using the sound system.

[quintyy]

noisy103 schreef:

Wie wil mij helpen met de verbetering hiervan?
Alvast bedankt!

Writing practice : Me and money

I’m definitely not a big spender. Every weak I receive ten euros. I use the money to pay the entrance of parties and to buy drinks. The rest of the money I save in my money-box. When I’ve enough money saved in my money-box, my father puts it on my bank account. I hardly never buy something with the money. In the seldom case I buy something, I buy a game to play on my PlayStation. You could say that I’m happy with my budget. I don’t need more money in my daily life.
But money is still important to me however I hardly buy something. My goal is to save enough money to build or buy my own house when I’m grow up. I’m also saving some money to buy a car so I can drive to my new school where I’m going to study next year. You will also know that driving a car, can cost allot of money. You also have to spend money onto buying fuel to run your car.
Like I already said, my father takes care of my bank affairs. I’m not acquainted with my bank affairs. I’m not even in possession of a bank card. I’ve used it only one time when I was on holiday in France to buy some tickets for the subway. However I had never used my bank card, it went very smooth.
My biggest purchase was a sound system of 160 euros. It was a well thought out purchase, because I’m still using the sound system.

Ik heb een paar woorden dik gedrukt, daar moet je even goed over nadenken. Je gebruikt ook heel vaak twee keer hetzelfde woord na elkaar (in 2 zinnen), dat leest niet zo fijn. Let ook op het verschil tussen bijwoorden en bijvoeglijk naamwoorden.
De tekst zelf heeft wel een redelijke inhoud, alleen hoe je het verwoord staat nogal los van elkaar, probeer meeer verbanden te leggen.

[mathfreak]

Opmerking: allot moet a lot zijn. Er bestaat wel een werkwoord to allot, wat echter toe(be)delen of toewijzen betekent. Metro vertaal je in Brits Engels als underground, subway is de Amerikaans-Engelse vertaling.
Let er verder op dat je in een formele tekst geen samentrekkingen als I'm en dergelijke gebruikt.