Oud 26-01-2003, 21:25
dreadlocks
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dreadlocks is offline
So how am I supposed to start writing something like this anyway?
About how I hate being alive day after day?
I'm not saying I want to die, at least not right away
But I don't feel like I want to stay
And let me tell you why
I screwed up my school again
I screwed it up as much as far as it can
Bad grades this period and all that shit
I screwed up this period, I'm sure of it
And my mom of course is having another fit
I started out this year with so much hope
But now I'm starting to figure out that suddenly I don't find it all so dope
The more I get into the year, the worse it gets
That I am one of the people that flunks this year, people can start placing their bets
And everyone has so much hope in me
But I think I am the failure I've always thought I'd be
My boyfriend's mom said to me
That my boyfriend didn't always appear to be the genious he was meant to be
He too didn't do so well in the beginning, but in the end it was he who was winning
And I guess that gave me a little bit of hope
But as soon as I come home I begin to mope
I keep thinking about what if it turns out I'm not the genious everyone expects me to be
Will they still love or like me?
And in the end it is nobody but me to blame
I knew what I was asked for when there I came
So now the third period starts
And I already know I threw another year away
I really hope it wasn't meant to be this way
I'm sorry boyfriend, friends, mom and dad
I hope if I can't make it on my own this year you won't be mad
I'm think about killing myself
If I won't make it this year
That really is my only fear
So to stay alive I guess I have to make it this year, right?
Well, damn, that is gonna be a long fucking flight.
So this is where I will be ending my poem now
And I really hope I will make it this year
Some how.
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