Gedicht(en)

[luiezak]

Such a perfect couple,
Always meant to be,
Living their lives for the other…

Together they’ve watched to the stars,
Tell them stories,
Watch them burn out,
Reminding them that their love won’t.

Everything was like dreams only show,
Just like dreams, they ended…
The inseparable was tragically torn apart…

His thoughts finally won from their love,
He reminded her when he felt like a falling star,
Crashing into the concrete.

His life flashed by and his love, he will take to his place of death…

Suddenly, life changed,
Reality became to cruel,
For her to live on,
So she ran to his grave,
Telling him once more how she felt,
And without a moment of hesitation,
The knife slowly cut her veins open…
Letting her bleed, till death took over.

Their love has conquered death…


Ik wil graag mensen mijne dingen laten lezen, mag ik ook een paar onder elkaar plakken?

[Ming-Xia]

Sorry, maar ik vind dit geen mooi gedicht. Grammaticaal klopt ie lang niet overal en verder vind ik em behoorlijk cliché.

[Disintegration]

Ik denk niet dat dit gedicht de dood zal overleven...

[Sketch]

luiezak schreef op 19-09-2006 @ 22:43 :
Ik wil graag mensen mijne dingen laten lezen, mag ik ook een paar onder elkaar plakken?

Dat mag

[*nerwen elensar]

Sketch schreef op 20-09-2006 @ 17:59 :
Dat mag

maar als je echt inhoudelijke feedback over 1 gedicht wilt is het misschien makkelijker om 1 topic per gedicht te openen.