Engels brief, nakijken

Hallo allemaal,
Ik heb een brief moeten maken om in te leveren.
Zou iemand van jullie er na willen kijken?
Mijn docent is echt zo'n "United Kingdom taal freak", dus let op echt "netjes" engels.
Als jullie mij willen verbeteren ... graag.

Dear Mr Daniels,

My name is HENKIE, I am 18 years old and live in SHNAGHAI. This is a small village that is located in the middle of my county the Netherlands. In the last autumn hollidays I spend two weeks with my parents at your campsite. In the advertisement I saw things are not told right.
It says that the campsite should be close to the beach, however in reality it was 4 kilometers. Besides it was not a sand beach but a beach with stones.

Another thing I did not like was that the showers were dirty and only gave cold water. We also had to be quiet at 11:30, and this did not happen because a lot old people were playing bridge.
Also the sewer was not taking care of properly, so every morning we woke up, we had to sit and breakfast in the stank.

I am very disappointed about this vacation. I payed in advance but we moved to a vacation house in the second week. This was located on another campsite.
I want my initial deposit back, and compensation for the fact that my vacation is screwed up.

Yours sincerely,

Dear Mr. Daniels,

My name is ..., I am 18 years old and live in .... This is a small village located in the Netherlands. (Als je perse erbij moet zetten waar, zou ik niet kiezen voor the middle of... maar eerder 'in the east, or mid-east')In the last holiday, which was in the autumn, my parents and I spended two weeks at your campsite. I noticed that there are a few things in you advertisement which are not correct.

It says that the campsite is close to the beach, but in reality it is about four kilometers. It is not a sand beach, but a beach with rocks/stones. (Net wat je leuker vind klinken)
Another thing I did not like was that the showers were not clean, and the fact that there wasn't hot water available. Also, the campsite rules state that U have to be quiet at 11.30 PM, and it almost never was because of people who were playing bridge. You sewer is not working properly, so when we woke up we had to have our breakfast in a nasty smell.

I am very disappointed about this vacation at your campsite. We payed in advance, but in the second week of our stay, we moved to a vacation home/house/residence which was located at another campsite.
I would like to have my initial deposit back, and perhaps compensation for the fact that the advertisement was not correct, so that we had to move somewhere else.

Yours sincerely,

Dit is puur hoe ik het zou doen. Ik spreek vrij goed Engels, maar grammaticaal kunnen er nog vrij veel fouten in zitten.

Bedankt voor je hulp.
Ik zal de zinnen gaan verbeteren.

[DestinyPlan]

(Correctie)

Dear Mr. Daniels,

My name is ..., I am 18 years old and I live in ..., which is a small village located in Central Holland. During the Autumn break/Autumn holiday, my parents and I spent two weeks at your campsite. I noticed there are a few things in your advertisements which are not correct.

It says that the campsite is close to the beach, but it actually is about four kilometers away. In fact, it was not really a sandy beach, but a beach filled with rocks. Another part that I did not enjoy was the showers. The showers weren't clean, and the fact that there wasn't any warm water available. The campsite rules show that we have to be quiet at 23.30, however it was quite noisy because of the people who were playing bride (of at the bridge?). Your sewers aren't working properly, so when we woke up, we had to eat our breakfast with an unpleasant smell.

I am very disappointed about this vacation at your campsite. We payed in advance, but in the second week of our stay, we moved to a vacation residence which was located at another campsite. I would like to have my initial deposit back, and perhaps compensation for the inaccurate advertisement, which made us move out.

Your sincerely,

(naam)

Ik zit op een internationale school voor al 8 jaar, dus spreek ik Engels op school en tegen mijn vrienden

[Infidel]

Waarom niet gewoon 'fall break', of is dat nu weer een heel domme opmerking?

[DestinyPlan]

Dat mag ook, hoor

in de VS zeggen ze altijd autumn/fall break
in Engeland zeggen ze gwn half term break... (denk ik)

[June bug]

Als je docent zo'n Engeland-freak is, zou ik van 'kilometers' ook 'kilometres' maken, dat is namelijk de Britse spelling.