Dit heb ik voor engels geschreven, de opdracht 'character development': 1A4 als begin van een nieuw boek. Dit is het resultaat, misschien ga ik er nog op door.
Several days after I lost you, I lost the silent war of seeing the sun rise. Staring at the horizon which tried to reveal its treasures, I forgot to taste the brightest colour. Although some people say white isn't a real colour, for me it was. But then, when my life was taken from me, I only saw the rest of the colours which all together made up black. And for a moment, I liked it. I delivered my soul to what seemed like heaven but was ruled by a dark power, and soon I saw my spirit being carried away beyond the winds of history.
How I learnt to be dependant, but somehow I have to manage on my own now. Since the light is gone I searched for memories in which the sun rose and enlightened the world day after day. I found myself as a little girl, innocent and free.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Suzy, happy birthday to you!”
When I woke up this morning, my parents were singing. Jack sort of sang along, although he is too young to even understand the words he tries to pronounce. Anyway, he made some funny noises. I like my little brother. However, today is my birthday. Now I am six years old, I think I will become a very smart girl.
A smart girl, that is what I should be by now. Instead I’m afraid of everything around me, including my own decisions. The memory faded away and one of the stars left in the dark black sky extinguished. Again I was thrown in my new world, a world where I couldn’t live long enough to survive myself. I looked for some signs which could prove your presence, but the light even took along my shadow. Before I could drown myself in some new memories, I realised that time was the only thing I had, and, although it couldn’t be taken from me and it was just a little, it was precious.
From now on, I should carry my time in my arms and make sure I wouldn’t lose it like I lost my dreams that you took away when you left.
I hung on to my illusions like grim death. However they had been misleading me while I was blind for the truth, which I still was, they helped me to find my way in the dark. I cursed the light that didn’t exist in my life and started running.
Somewhere at the edge of time, I found you, living my dreams I created long ago. Unlike I expected you didn’t help me over the edge on my way to nowhere. Instead, you held me like I was the precious. I was grateful on the moment I thought I found back my source of life, but I was too late to prevent you from kissing me goodbye. Just before I ran out of my time, I saw you, bathed in sunlight, and I understood my problem. I admired you more than I have ever loved myself.
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Zolang mensen mensen blijven, zijn leven en dood hetzelfde
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