~~Engelse~~ ~~MOP~~

[knijtert!]

Wie weet er een typisch engelse mop in het engels. Een mop in het engels, maar niet typisch in het engels iz ook goed hoor, maar typisch engels iz beter.
Als je er een weet zet um dan ffies neer
Thnx

[DruidessI]

Ik weet een hele foute Noord-Ierse mop:

What to do when you see an Englishman
walking with half a head across the street?

- Shoot again.

* sorry *

Deze is eigenlijk niet Engels, maar Nederlands, maar het betreft wel de Engelse taal, dus je kunt m ook in het Engels vertellen

One Englishman, one Dutchman and a Belgian have a collision with their cars. The Englishman immediately apologizes himself saying: Oh, I am so sorry!
The Dutchman replies: I am sorry too!
On which the Belgian says: Im sorry three!

---

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scot are
sitting in a bar. All of them order a pint of Guinness. Then suddenly three flies appear and each of them flies into the three pints of beer. So that each pint of Guinness has one fly.
The Englishman dislikes the idea of drinking it and moves the glass away saying: yuck, not for me.
The Scot uses two fingers to grab the fly at its wing out of the glass and starts to drink like nothing happened before.
The Irishman also uses two fingers to grab the fly at its wing, but then starts shouting at the fly saying:
SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!

-----

An Englishman entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman. After they had chatted for a while the Scot asked "Where are you from?" The Englishman replied "I'm from the finest country in the world." The Scot looked sceptical and replied "Are you? You have a damn funny accent for a Scotsman."

-----

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field. The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow." The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow." The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow - it's got bagpipes underneath."

-----

A philosophical Scotland supporter on the train south to attend the match with England was heard to comment: "No matter if we win or lose this game, we will still be winners in the game of life, because when our opponents waken up tomorrow they'll still be English and we won't."

------

There was a student at an English university,
called Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye ,
who was living in the hall of residence in his first year.
After he'd been there a month, his mother came to visit,
carrying reinforcements of scones and oatmeal.
"And how do you find the English students, Donald?"
she asked.
"Mother," he replied. "They're such terrible, noisy people.
The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall,
and won't stop. The one on the other side screams
and screams and screams, away into the night."
"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with
these awful noisy English neighbours?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them.
I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

------

Girl at confession: Father, I've committed the most terrible sin.
I look into the mirror and I say to myself,
'Molly, you're the prettiest girl in all the world.'
Priest: Get away with you, Molly!
That's not a terrible sin. That's just a mistake.
------

A rabbi, a priest, and a bishop walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

-----
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in
here"

----

Groetjes,
Suzan

[knijtert!]

thnx DruidessI

[Angelleyes]

moet er nog ff eentje uit, ik begreep hem niet tot ik de uitleg hoorde:

Two nuns are sitting in a bath-tub. One of the nuns asks the other: Where's the soap?
the other replies: it is, isn't it?

snap jij hem? (das nou typisch een engelse mop)

[maarte]

wazde uileg dan???

[Skatertjuh13]

Ik heb een hele goeie, "Shaggy Dog Story", zal hem morgen wel voor je inscannen, staat in mn Engelse boek.

[Miss USA]

Question: Is there any pasta you can't eat?
Answer: Toothpasta
hahaha
Explanation: In het Engels gebruiken ze pasta altijd voor eten, (spaghetti, macaroni, chocopasta, etc.) en is 'toothpasta' eigenlijk een vreemd woord. Wij Nederlanders kunnen er niet om lachen, maar mijn Engelse neefje van 8... hahaha.

Angelleyes schreef:
moet er nog ff eentje uit, ik begreep hem niet tot ik de uitleg hoorde:

Two nuns are sitting in a bath-tub. One of the nuns asks the other: Where's the soap?
the other replies: it is, isn't it?

snap jij hem? (das nou typisch een engelse mop)

Ik snap hem
Dit is nou precies de humor waar ik van hou...

[maarte]

Angelleyes schreef:
moet er nog ff eentje uit, ik begreep hem niet tot ik de uitleg hoorde:

Two nuns are sitting in a bath-tub. One of the nuns asks the other: Where's the soap?
the other replies: it is, isn't it?

snap jij hem? (das nou typisch een engelse mop)

NEEJ ik snap em nie!! leg ff uit pleeaase?

[OO-PIN]

A horse walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

hehe

of
A horse walks into a bar and someone asks: "Why the long face?"

[sSaArRaA]

Angelleyes schreef:
moet er nog ff eentje uit, ik begreep hem niet tot ik de uitleg hoorde:

Two nuns are sitting in a bath-tub. One of the nuns asks the other: Where's the soap?
the other replies: it is, isn't it?

snap jij hem? (das nou typisch een engelse mop)