Paradise of the Albatros: Chapter One

[Woodstock]

Chapter One: A New House, An Unusual Passer-By, And An Unexpected Offer


A summer's day, late in the afternoon. I stood on the doorstep and looked at the view.
A green field, smooth and flat like a billiard sheet, stretched out before me. Indeed it looked a bit like Narnia or Wonderland or such a world people in books always get into when they step outside their doors and the outside they expected is not there.
For me, of course, it was different. I had merely just moved into my new house, "home in the heart of the country"as Paul McCartney sings, and as I hadn't had time to check out the surroundings before, this was my first time to open the back door and see before me aforementioned view.
The billiard sheet stretched out towards the horizon, immaculate and uninterrupted - except for a shady clump of bushes and trees in the distance.
Past the low fences of my back yard ran a narrow path, paved with red tilestones. a few hundred metres left of my house it made a turn to the right and went on through the field. To the other side it just ran on and on, straight forward, to where I could not see it anymore.
The sun was already setting, a bit early really for summer, and shone a beautiful dark-golden light over the short grass.
I enjoyed the view for some time, and the moment I turned to go back inside and make a start with unpacking my various boxes, I saw a slender black figure, apparently coming from nowhere, walking down the red path towards the bend.
When it came into clear sight I saw it was a tall man, as skinny as a beanstalk, dressed in a black suit and wearing a high, narrow, neat and shiny top hat. In short: he looked like an undertaker.
He had now rounded the bend and strode on, firmly and fast, proudly upright but with his arms hanging listlessly down by his sides. Soon he had come so near that I could see his face. A long pale face, almost white, with a gloomy wistful expression and dark rings under his eyes. I could not possibly tell his age. He looked not altogether unhandsome; but not altogether ALIVE either.
As he passed me by, an unexpected thing happened. he turned his head to face me, took off his top hat, nodded, and put the hat back on. Then he strode past, on his long thin legs in the neat black trousers, and soon he disappeared from view.
I was quite thrown off balance. Whatever I had expected of the beginning of life in my little country house, it was not anyhing like this. A passer-by who came from nowhere, of most unusual appearance, greeting me, and then going back to nowhere - it was very new to me.
Suddenly I wasn't so sure anymore of this place being nothing like Narnia or Wonderland or any such world.

~

The sun was still balancing on the horizon, as if hesitating to disappear wholly. The view was still beautiful. And I was still somewhat shaken, which might be a bit strange as the event really hadn't been THAT unusual. The man might have been just a friendly citizen of the village nearby, gone for a walk and noticing a newcomer had just arrived.
But the thing was that he didn't look it, at all. He had looked very, very unusual indeed. He gave me a strange feeling, as if he was the first of a lot of unusual things to happen. I stood at my little wooden gate, wondering what would happen next.
And something DID happen.
HONK HONK!
The sound of a car-horn disrupted the silence. A little vehicle came hobbling down the path, turned the bend on two wheels, and drove straight towards my house.
It was a small, cranky, noisy car, a Baby Austin. I knew it from a picture in an old book. A funny little car. It stopped right before me, the door went open, and a old man with white hair stuck out his head and called cheerfully: "Would you like a ride, my dear?"
And I said "Thank you sir, it's very friendly of you indeed, but I have a lot of unpacking and arranging to do..."
"Never mind that, never mind!" he exclaimed airily. "Come and have a little tour, my dear, a bit of sight-seeing, do you good!"
He didn't look dangerous. He looked like anybody's sweet old grandpa, slightly nutty but a lot of fun. And frankly, a little tour around the country sounded like a very good idea. Much better than emptying out cardboard boxes, anyway.
So I climbed into the car and installed myself on the passenger's seat, with some effort for the car was very small and crammy, and as soon as I was properly seated - off we went at surprising speed.
"Let me introduce myself," said the little old man to the windscreen, as we fled down the red path, nothing but green grass at both sides.
"My name is Crass. Archibald Crass."
"Pleased to meet you," I said politely. "My name is Eve."
"Eve," he repeated, smiling at the windscreen. "A nice name. It fits you, child."
"Thank you, Mr Crass," I answered. The compliment was platitude, of course, but for some reason or other it made me feel good.
The car window at my side was open and a fresh rush of wind was coming in, which was very nice as it was still quite warm.
I was still wondering what would happen next. This was going to be an adventure, no less, I was sure. And so far, I liked it.