Ik heb tot nu toe dit:
Dear Sir/ Madam,
My name is * and I am a Human Geography and Urban Planning student at the University of Utrecht. At the moment of writing, I'm in the second year of my bachelor. I would like to study abroad for one semester during my third year. In this letter I will explain why I want to study at the Chinese University of Hong Kong
A human geographer is supposed to have an interest for different kind
s of places on different scale levels. I am really interested in Asia and I particularly have a strong interest for China and Hong Kong. I was very glad to see that your university offers geography related courses, so I did not hesitate to choose for your university. I am willing to learn either Cantonese or Mandarin and to actively participate in the different courses you offer.
Of course I am curious about the perspective you have on human geography or human geography related subjects. This will give me a better understanding of my studies and it therefore change the perspective I already have. It is also interesting to see how different geography related issues on local scale are handled in the different courses. I also have hobbies,
of which few are related to Hong Kong. Firstly, I collect movies from Asia
. Hong Kong has contributed a lot to
Asia's movie industry. My second hobby is to practice Chinese Martial arts: Hung Gar Kung Fu. Studying in Hong Kong is therefor
e not only beneficiary for my studies, but also for my personal interests. I am really motivated to study at your university and I’ll try to do my best to successfully pass my courses.
Of course the courses are also important for my own bachelor. The courses you offer are very suitable for my own study. For example the course ‘Third world development’ seems like an interesting and appropriate course for me. I want to study International development studies after my bachelor and every course related to development issues holds my strong interest.
* But not only that, the perspective you have on for example development aid can significantly change from the perspective we have in the Netherlands. I want to know what perspective this is and how it helps me to understand all kind of development issues I’ll experience later.
* Other courses related to China also hold my strong
ik zou het woordje strong weghalen, heb je 2 zinnen geleden ook gebruikt interest. Courses
such as ‘Hong Kong Geographical issues’ and ‘Geography of China’ really appeal to me.
Studying in Utrecht is a great experience. I enjoy my studies and student life here. But, having lived my entire life in the Netherlands, I feel the need to see beyond the borders of my country. This feeling is based on the need for more personal development. I believe that being in an entirely different country will help with my own personal development. I think I will know myself better if I
stay in a country that is entirely different from mine for a period of time. The lifestyle in Hong Kong is different and this will force me to adapt my personal lifestyle to Hong Kong standards. I will also find myself in situations I’ve never been in before.
I have never stayed in a country where I didn’t know the native language and culture for a longer period of time. I really want to learn the Chinese language and culture, so that if I am in the Netherlands again, I have experienced something completely different and
learn from it.
Besides studying and passing the courses, the inner development-factor plays a crucial role for me in deciding to study in Hong Kong.
I believe I have the capabilities and motivation to study at your university. At my home university I have proven that I can handle my study very well and I hope I will get a chance to prove this at your university. I hope you will accept me as a student at your university and that I will get the chance to experience life in Hong Kong.
Yours sincerely,
*
PLease geef je mening
Het stukje tussen sterretjes vind ik te ingewikkeld verwoord, moet wat duidelijker.
Verder vind ik dat je het woordje but te vaak gebruikt.
De stukjes in bold heb ik aangepast zoals ik het zou aanpassen.
Probeer ook tussen alle alineas een betere samenhang te creeren. Dan loopt het wat vloeiender. als je in de laatste zin van elke alinea kan zien aankomen waar je het on de volgende over gaat hebben.
Probeer ook woordjes als I've en I'm te vermeiden, schrijf ipv daarvan I have of I am. Staat wat beter, klinkt wat formeler.
Ik zou als ik jou was ook wat meer vertellen over waar ik woon, met wie, mijn hobbies in het algemeen etc. gewoon wat meer over jezelf. dat ontbreekt een beetje, en ik weet voor een feit dat universiteiten dat fijn vinden om te lezen. Dat is ook erg bepalend voor hun beeld van jou en of ze je willen hebben
Maar in het algemeen vind ik het een hele nette motivatie brief. Je hebt een goede grip op de Engelse taal en je hebt heel duidelijk uitgelegd waarom je daar wil gaan studeren.