Engels tekstje: paedophile

Personal comment : Thousands of children snared for sex blackmail

I’m astounded that children blindly walk in this kind of traps. I’m also shocked by the large number of victims. I can’t grasp children are so naïve. I don’t know anybody who is snared by a paedophile. I would never undress in front of my webcam because every picture or movie stays traceable on the Internet. Many children who were ensnared, frequent public chat forums.

This can be avoided by informing parents about the dangers of the internet. In my opinion are schools responsible for this task. Parents can restrict such sites with a password, so children won’t be able to sneak on chat forums. On most of the chat forums can your report abuse, in this way the abuser get blocked on the forum. I am definitely for an age restriction, children below eighteen years aren’t allowed to visited this kind of websites.

Schools need to have a better counselling program for children who were groomed for online abuse. These children need mostly mental counsel but also their parents. It isn’t easy to accept that their children were ensnared by a paedophile. This kind of perpetrators need to be placed into institutes where they obtain special counsel for their problem. Because this kind of infraction isn’t allowed in our modern society, they will also have to go to jail. But only if they are declared mentally healthy by the institute.


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Kan iemand deze tekst nakijken en misschien verrijken met wat dure woorden ? Ik heb mijn best gedaan om het niveau van de tekst op te krikken, maar ik denk dat dit nog wel wat beter kan, graag help? Alvast bedankt!
Groetjes

[mathfreak]

*ik geef hieronder de tekst met de nodige correcties weer*
Personal comment : Thousands of children snared for sex blackmail

I am astounded that children blindly walk in this kind of traps.
*gebruik in een formele tekst geen samentrekkingen als I’m en dergelijke*
I am also shocked by the large number of victims. I cannot grasp children are so naïve. I do not know anybody who is snared by a paedophile. I would never undress in front of my webcam because every picture or movie stays traceable on the Internet. Many children who were ensnared, frequently visit public chat forums.

This can be avoided by informing parents about the dangers of the internet. In my opinion schools are responsible for this task. Parents can restrict such sites with a password, so children will not be able to sneak on chat forums. On most of the chat forums you can report abuse, in this way the abuser gets blocked on the forum.
*your is een bezittelijk voornaamwoord, get krijgt een -s omdat the abuser als derde persoon enkelvoud (he/she) fungeert*
I am definitely in favour of an age restriction, children below eighteen years are not allowed to visite this kind of websites.
*"ergens voor zijn" wordt vertaald als "to be in favour of something", visited is de verleden tijdsvorm van to visit*

Schools need to have a better counselling program for children who were groomed for online abuse. These children mostly need mental counseling and their parents as well. It is not easy to accept that their children were ensnared by a paedophile. This kind of perpetrators need to be placed into institutes where they obtain special counseingl for their problem. Because this kind of infraction is not allowed in our modern society, they will also have to go to jail. But only if they are declared mentally healthy by the institute.

[rkooiker]

En daar heb ik dan weer aanmerkingen op. Ik had toch even niks te doen.

Personal comment : Thousands of children snared for sex blackmail

I am astounded that children blindly walk in this kind of traps. I am also shocked by the large number of victims. I cannot grasp that children are so naïve. I do not know any victims of paedophiles. I would never undress in front of my webcam because every picture or movie on the Internet stays traceable. (volgorde is zo beter) Many ensnared children frequently visited public chat forums. (logischerwijs doen ze dat nu niet meer, toch?)

This can be avoided by informing parents about the dangers of the internet. In my opinion, schools are responsible for this task. Parents can restrict such sites with a password, so that children will not be able to sneak on chat forums. On most of the chat forums you can report abuse. In this way the abuser gets blocked from using the forum. (tja, klinkt beter)

I am definitely in favour of an age restriction. Children should not be allowed to visit this kind of website. (kinderen zijn per definitie jonger dan achttien) (‘kind’ is enkelvoud)

Schools need to have a better counselling program for young victims of online abuse. (groomed for? Lijkt me niet.) These children and their parents mostly need mental counselling. For parents, it is not easy to accept that a paedophile ensnared their child. (gebruik zoveel mogelijk de actieve vorm) These paedophiles (duidelijker en korter) need to be placed into institutions (institute is iets anders) where they receive (obtain impliceert planning en opzet, dat is hier niet het geval) special counselling for their problem. Because they committed a crime, they will also have to go to jail. (infraction is onnodig moeilijk, de zin kan zo een stuk korter en duidelijker) But only if they are declared mentally healthy by the institution.