goodbye

[muckymouse]

Goodbye

Please don't say
Your slipping away
I cannot stand your pain
I want you to be
Really close to me
But it's driving me insane

You won't take my helping hand
When It's the only thing
To make you understand
That you are all I care about
Want to cut inside you
And let the pain go out

I wish this was a fairytale
And I would be a star
Then I would shine so bright
You'll see it's worth the fight
I would look down on you and pray
And kiss al you tears away

Stones are rolling throught my head
Thinking about the things you've said
You feel miserable and insecure
don't want you to cry no more

So don't make wrong desicions now
I know it will get better somehow
And maybe I won't be there to see
You'll be the boy you used to be

Thoughts and feelings are changing fast
It will never be as it was in the past
Cry untill your tears will dry
And look up to the big blue sky
And when you see the stars above
Remember my love
This ain't yet goodbye

[AlopiA]

mooi gedicht, vooral de 4e en de 5e strofe!
de 1e strofe vind ik wat minder, loopt niet lekker. verder wel mooi!

[muckymouse]

thenx, ik moest t gewoon ff eruit gooien

[Margriet]

Ik vind hem heel erg mooi...ook heel herkenbaar
maar wel heel mooi en waar

[vrolijkevlinder]

Wow lang.
Vond derde strofe erg mooi.
jammer dat je zo'n eenzijdige rijmstructuur hebt gebruikt. Maar om dat weer om te zetten in iets positiefs. Zijn tegenwoordig zo veel mensen die origineel willen zijn met hun gedichtjes dat deze juist wel weer mooi is. Knap dat je 'm zo lang gamaakt hebt.