It’s calling me

[Millroy]

[In my darkest moment,] It’s calling me

And you jump and hit the ground running, me hot on your tail. Breathing in long, controlled sighs, you move with style, grace. Your pretty hair a sea of inviting maroon, and your smooth skin a beacon in the dark. You, a fleeting image, always just ahead and out of reach. Me, blundering and stumbling, desperately seeking you. And, God, how I hate you. Right there. Taunting me. Always floating around in my head, I just can’t seem to catch you. You’re everything I want. I need you. Why don’t you need me?
Gasping, choking, I follow you, wherever you go. Running for as long as anyone can remember. Everything fades, and it’s just you that’s left. I barely remember who or what came before this precious moment. Choosing to be here, right now. Hold on, stay in sight. I’ve got you. I know I can’t have you, and touching you burns. It burns my skin, and leaves blisters. It burns my soul, turns it black and raw. It burns so. All this pain must be an illusion. No one can be in this much pain and live. Why does it burn? I did everything for this, everything. I’m spinning, dizzy. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I need you, yet you burn. You’re looking at me, with your God-awful beautiful eyes. Pinning me down, baring me. Staring straight through my pitiful armour, my weak shell. Through my wretched appearance, into my black soul. You know, and because you know, I do too. There you are, warm and alive, pinned between my burning hands. But I don’t understand. How could I do that to you? Why do you know, what I hadn’t known? Still your eyes watch me. Oh, those eyes, piercing me so. Burning, disintegrating as I am, I embrace you. Feel the rhythm. Feel my guilt, my pain. Feel connected to me. Embrace my desire to be part of you. I was wrong. I don’t want to have you. I don’t need you. I need you to need me. I lose myself between ourselves, and feel you move across my skin. Reaching out, reaching in. Breathing in, all I taste is you. Breathing out, all I can feel is you. And despite my burning, my slow and agonising demise, I’m at ease. You are me. Together, at the end of our wild chase, all I feel is bliss. So all you can feel is bliss.
And here we are. Me, slowly coming apart. You, already turning cold. Life seeps out of both of us, together. For a brief moment there you needed me. Then it was all over, and I’d destroyed the one good thing that could ever mean anything in my life. Covering you with my smouldering remains, once more attempting to find peace within the emptiness I am extinguished.

Welcome back, ye pirate. You have been missed.

'It burns so.'
Minder zinnetje, voor de rest erg leuk om te lezen. Wil je nog meer commentaar, of houden we het hierbij?