|
Hier even een stukje van iemand die gelovig is EN homo is:
Quality Gay Relationship
DEFINING THE ISSUE
A homosexual or gay person is one who prefers to have realtionship with people of the same sex. On the other hand a heterosexual person is one who prefers to have realtionship with people of the opposite sex.1 However, in order to understand this preference we need to see it not as an either/or situation, but as a contnuum of preferences. At one end there is extreme homosexuality; at the other, extreme heterosexuality. Most people belong in a cluster somewhere in the middle of that continuum. We all express both heterosexual and homosexual preferences at various times. If a man chooses to spend most of his social life with other males he is expressing a homosexual preference. If a woman spends most of her chosen time with other females then she too is expressing a homosexual preference.
WHO AM I?
“When I first met another gay person, I felt excited, nervous and happy. There was an indescribable relief to know that I was not alone, that there was someone else like me. It was also intimidating, not knowing what to do or expect, but I quickly loosened up and felt relaxed.”
The problem in society is very often that if people do not understand or prefer not to understand someone, they will most likely not be very supportive. I have experienced this myself. Not being able to talk to somebody about the feelings I have because I felt that they will either let me down or push me away from them. It hurt not knowing if you will be able to have a happy relationship, because you cannot be yourself. What I am trying to do in this essay, is, hopefully, to establish that a homosexual relationship can be of the same quality as a heterosexual one. Because of the questions I have about myself and the relationship I am in at this time, it is a challenge for me to know more about relationship and to be able to contribute more to it.
ME AND THE CHURCH
In the church we have tended to institutionalise homosexual organisations, such as women’s groups and men’s groups. Of course, we seperate the sexes when they are children on an homosexual basis “in case they get to know the other sex too early.”
Most people leke to relate both heterosexuality and homosexuality, depending on their preference at a given time. But you migth say, this is not talkng about close intimate and emotional realtionships. If we are not, then what a judgement that is on the quality of our community and our relationships within the church. Surely real commitment includes a sharing of a close emotional commitment to one another. Christian community is about honesty, sharing, caring and being cared for by others, irrespective of their sex. Christians believe that sex is good because our bodies are good and holy.2
To live as a homosexual is not just about sex, nor is it about the opposite sex. It is about the whole of life and all relationships. Why some people are more gay than others and find greater satisfaction in same-sex relationships is not a moral question. Rather than focusing on the nature of specific acts between people, Christian morality emphasises the quality of relationships between people.
Today the problem of homosexuality is not with the homosexual, it is with those who cannot or will not understand this is reality.
Homophobia is a hatred of, or more accurately, a fear of homosexuality. People fear what they do not know or do not understand. Very often this amounts to hating and fearing what is different from their norm. When applied to people of other races, this is called racism of xenophobia. Here I can refer to one of my fellow student from Africa, who stayed with me in Holland for the christmas holidays. When people fear something to this degree then they have to create rationalisations for their opposition.
SOME COMMON RATIONALISATIONS
1. Homosexuality causes sexual assaults on children.
In fact there is absolutely no evidence for such a claim. People sexually assault children, and the great majority of those people are heterosexual. There is no proof that being a homosexual makes you more liable to assault children or assault anyone.
When it is said that children who are “exposed” to teachers who are practising homosexuals would be at much greater risk of seduction and abuse, then again there is no proof to back that claim. Again it reflects the fear of those who do not understand.
2. Homosexuality is a threat to the nuclear family.
I have not yet heard how it is a threat, Does it mean that homosexuals will become so numerous that we will cease to reproduce as a society? That is hardly likely. Does it mean that people fear that homosexuals will adopt children into their families? Let’s face it – the record of heterosexual parents is not very good. Many heterosexuals should never be parents. Because a person is homosexual does not necessarily make her/him a poor parent. If heterosexuality is one of the criteria for good parenting then there is something missing from our concept of parenting.
If homosexuality is seen as such a threat to nuclear family, then maybe there is something wrong with the nuclear family. It is true that, in our society, the nuclear family is a very vulnerable and fragile institution. It is becoming clear that it is inadequate by itself for raising of children. Children need more adults models than just their parents and the fleeting relationships they have with teachers. The fact that homosexuality makes the nuclear family nervous is the fault of the nuclear family, not the homosexual.
3. God condems homosexuality.
It is true that a number of scriptual passages are directed agains homosexual practices (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; Romans 1:26ff; 1 Corinthians 6:9ff). However, these texts reflects the times in which they were written. If we take such texts literally then why did we give up slavery, and should we not hold to scripture injunction to put to death the adulterer, and why have women given up wearing hats in church?
Rationalising from such proof texts will prove nothing. It ignores, for one thing, the basic gospel message of compassion of our Lord, and his model for real caring in relationships. Such texts must be treated in their context, and not as general rules.
QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS
Rather than being something to be feared, homosexuality may well be saying something important to the church and our attitude towards relationships, be they heterosexual or homosexual.
1. We need to evaluate the quality of our relationships, in particular our fear and preoccupation with sex. For instance, there had been an traditional admonition against pre-marital sex, but even now the church is slow to deal with the quality of a relationship and how two people care for each other. It condemns adultery in sexual terms but ignores the fact that a man can commit adultery against his own wife when he uses and treats her as a chattel.
Even today, the church refuses to take its human relationship seriously. Our preoccupation with sex (= genital sex) reflects our hang-ups about sexuality and our inability to integrate it into real relationships. Sex is still a dirty word in the church.
2. Working towards quality relationships will also mean evaluating our understanding of sexuality. All too often, sexuality is defined in terms of genital sex,3 with little understanding that sexuality is a part of the whole life. It is a beautiful part of us, and we have the ability to enjoy it, irrespective of its reproductive function. Somehow we need to discover the wholeness of our sexuality. We would do this best, not in a sex clinic, but in recovering and practising quality relationships. As long as we are ashamed of our sexuality we are denigrating a gift of God. This goes for heterosexuals as well as homosexuals.
3. Homosexuality itself is challenging us to affirm our own and androgynous nature – in each one of us there are both feminine and masculine characteristics. Homosexuality is challenging men to affirm the gentle, intuitive side of themselves while challenging women to own the strong, rational side of themselves.
Genesis 1:27 may be interpreted as God creating, not only male and female, but the male and female in each of us.4 It is only when we own those characteristics that we become whole in the image of God. Our sin is that we seperated out the male and the female in us and where ashamed. We lost wholeness as individuals and lost community at the same time.
Jesus was very much an androgynous person. He also loved men and women equally and was emotionally close to both. For him, the quality of the relationship was important, not the sex of the other person. Neither did he raise the issue as to whether the person was normal of abnormal – all experienced his compassion.
EVALUATION
As Christians and as a church, we are not being called to try converting homosexuals, forcing them to give up their preference and become “normal”. Nor are we being called to have a pity on homosexuals, as if their way was a lesser option.
Our task is to accept people. Unfortunately, we have been too used to drawing rules and norms of behaviour but are not good at developing meaningful relationships. True, it is easier to regulate relationships than to relate. It is easier to project our own hang-ups and fears on those who are different than to be honest with ourselves. In the end that is the challenge of homosexual against the church: honesty with ourselves and quality relationships. This is also the challenge of Christ.5
REFLECTION
It is not easy to discover that you are gay. Our society makes it clear what it thinks of gay people. We all hear the terrible jokes, the hurtful stereotypes and the wrong ideas that circulate about gay people. People tend to hate or fear what they don’t understand. Some people hate lesbians and gay men. Many people are uncomfortable around lesbians and gay men. It’s no wonder that you might choose to hide your gay geeling from others. You might even be tempted to hide them from yourself. You may wonder if you are normal. Perhaps you worry about people finding out about you. Maybe you avoid other kids who might be gay because of what people will think. Working this hard to conceal your thoughts and feelings is called “being in the closet.” It is a painful and lonely place to be, even if you stay there in order to survive.
It takes a lot of energy to deny your feelings, and it can be costly. You may have considered suicide. No, not anymore. There are alternatives to denying your very valuable feelings. It is crucial to be honest with yourself. Just as self-denial cost you, “coming out of the closet” pays off. I accept my feelings and my sexuality now, and I feel calmer, happier and more confident. No matter what people say, I a human. God created me, and I was made in his image. I was born and I have a purpose, and being gay is part of it.
1 West D.J., Homosexuality, (Great Britain: Hunt Barnard & Co.Ltd 1968) 12
2 Whitehead E.A. & J.D., A sense of sexuality, Christian love and intimacy, (New York: Doubleday Dell Publ. Group, Inc., 1989) 23
3 Hurlock E.B., Adolescent Developement, (U.S.A.: Kingsport Press, Inc., 1973) 272
4 Pierson L., No-Gay Areas: Pastoral care of Homosexual Christians, (London: Grove Books Ltd., 1989) 9
5 Nugent R., ed., A challenge to Love, The Christian body and Homosexual maturing, (New York: Crossroad) 23
Attachments
SOME COMMON RATIONALISATIONS. 3 God condems homosexuality
Leviticus 18:22
22Homosexualiteit is streng verboden, het is een gruwelijke zonde in de ogen van de HERE.
Leviticus 20:13
13De straf op homosexuele omgang is de dood voor beide partijen.
Romeinen 1:26-32
26Daarom heeft God hen losgelaten en zijn hun slechte begeerten hun de baas geworden. Het is zelfs zo erg dat de vrouwen zich van natuurlijk sexueel leven hebben afgekeerd en op tegennatuurlijke wijze met elkaar omgaan. 27En met de mannen is het al even erg. Die willen niets meer weten van natuurlijke seksuele omgang met de vrouwen, maar branden van begeerte naar elkaar. Mannen die schandelijke dingen doen met andere mannen! Zij ondervinden in hun diepste wezen de gevolgen voor afdwalen van God. Dat is hn verdiende loon.
28Omdat zijn niets van God wilden weten, heeft God hen overgelaten aan alles wat in hun verdorven gedachten opkomt. Zij gaan zich te buiten aan allerlei onbehoorlijke dingen. 29Zijn zitten vol onrechtvaardigheid en misdaad, vol hebzucht, kwaadheid en jaloezie. Zijn zijn uit op moord, ruzie, list en bedrog. 30Gemeen als ze zijn, houden zij van roddel en kwaadsprekerij. Zij haten God. Het zijn brutale, verwaande opscheppers. Ze weten altijd wel iets slechts te bedenken en zijn hun ouders ongehoorzaam.
31Zij zijn onverstandig en onbetrouwbaar, ongevoelig en genadeloos. 32Zij weten dat God dit niet kan toestaan. Want wie zoiets doet, verdiend de eeuwige dood. Maar toch doen ze het. Erger nog: zij vinden het prachtig als anderen eraan meedoen.
1 Corinthiërs 6:9-20
9Weet u niet dat onrechtvaardige mensen geen deel zullen hebben aan het Koningkrijk van God?
10Verlaat Gods weg niet! Mensen die vrije sex voorstaan, afgoden dienen, overspel plegen of zich met homosexuale praktijken inlaten, blijven buiten het Koningkrijk van God. Dat geld ook voor dieven, gierigaards, roddelaars en oplichters. 11Somigen van u zijn vroege ook zo geweest. U bent nu schoongewassen en voor God afgezonderd. U bent onschuldig verklaard in de naam van de Here Jezus Christus en door de Geest van onze God. 12Ik mag alles, maar niet alles is zinvol. Hoewel ik alles mag, mag niets mij overheersen. 13Het voedsel is voor het lichaam en het lichaam is voor het voedsel. God zal ze allebei overbodig maken.
Ons lichaam is niet bestemd voor de ontucht, maar voor de Here en de Here zorgt vor het lichaam! 14Zoals God de Here Jezus Christus weer levend heeft gemaakt, heeft Hij ook de kracht om òns weer levend te maken. 15Weet u niet dat uw lichaam een lichaamsdeel van Christus is? Kan ik dan toestaan dat een lichaamsdeel van Christus gemeenschap heeft met een prostituee? Absoluut niet! 16Of weet u niet dat u, door gemeenschap te hebben met een prostituee, één met haar word? 17Maar als u gemeenschap met de Here hebt, bent u één van geest van hem. 18Houd u ver van elke vorm van hoererij. Geen andere zonde heet zó wezenlijk met uw lichaam te maken. Als u met een andere dan uw eigen vrouw gemeenschap heb, doet u kwaad aan uw eigen lichaam. 19Of weet u niet dat uw lichaam een tempel is van de Heilige Geest? Van de Geest, Die God u heeft gegeven en Die nu in u woont? U bent niet van uzelf! 20God hefet u tegen de allerhoogste prijs verkocht! Gebruik daarom ieder deel van uw lichaam om God eer te geven.
1 Timotheüs 1:9-17
9Zij zijn er om alle gewetenloze en onreine mensen als zondaar te bestempelen. Niet voor hen die doen wat de wet gebiedt, maar voor de zondaars, die God haten, die opstandig zijn en vloeken en tieren, die hun ouders misdadig behandelen en zelfs voor moord niet terugschrikken, 10,11die ontucht plegen met volwassenen èn kinderen, die het niet nauw nemen met mijn en dijn, die voor een leugen, ja die zelfs voor meineed niet terugdeinzen en allerlei dingen doen die ingaan tegen het geweldige nieuws van onze goede God, van Wie ik een boodschapper ben.
12Wat ben ik dankbaar dat onze Here Jezus Christus mij heeft uitgekozen om één van Zijn boodschappers te zijn en dat Hij mij de kracht geeft Hem trouw te blijven, 13hoewel ik vroeger zelfs de naam van Christus bespot heb. Ik heb Zijn Gemeente vervolgd en deze kwaad gedaan zoveel ik ko. Maar God heeft Zich over mij ontfermd, omdat ik niet wist wat ik deed. Ik kende Christus toen nog niet. 14Wat is de Here goed voor mij geweest! Hij heeft mij het geloof in Christus Jezus gegeven en mij gevuld met Diens liefde. 15Het is onomstotelijk feit –en iedereen zou dat moeten geloven– dat Christus Jezus in de wereld is gekome om zondaars te redden; en ik was wel de ergste van allemaal. 16Maar God heeft mij vergeven, opdat Jezus Christus mij zou kunnen gebruiken als een voorbeeld om te laten zien hoeveel geduld Hij heeft. Zo zullen anderen beseffen dat ook zij eeuwig leven krijgen.
17Alle eer en heerlijkheid is voor God, van alle eeuwen, de Onzichtbare, Die nimmer sterft. Alleen Hij is God. Amen.
QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS. 3.
Genesis 1:27
27God schiep daarop de mens als zijn evenbeeld. Als man en vrouw schiep hij hen.
Hm oh ja, dit stukje is dus geschreven door M. George. Ik hoop dat je even de tijd neemt om het rustig te lezen. En wat ik nu vind? Natuurlijk is homosexualiteit geen probleem voor God. De mensen die geloven, geloven dat de mens door God gemaakt is. God 'maakt' dus ook homo's, dus is het voor Hem geen probleem.
Laatst gewijzigd op 11-05-2002 om 22:36.
|