Persuasive speech

[Sweetsurrender]

Wij moeten voor engels een persuasvie speech maken: Een speech die mensen overhaald. Zegmaar een gesproken betoog. Denk aan Bush die mensen overhaald dat zijn oorlog gerechtvaardigd is.
Mijn speech gaat over de stemgerechtigde leeftijd; de leeftijd waarop men mag stemmen. Deze wil ik naar beneden halen. Het is niet nodig de oplossing van je probleem in de tekst te zetten, alleen om mensen over te halen.
Ik zou graag jullie mening horen over mijn speech. Ik zet het hier neer omdat ik echt een mening wil horen, spelling e.d. boeit me niet. Als je een mooiere formulering weet van zinnen, laat dat dan alsjeblieft weten.
Nogmaals, ik hoop niet dat dit verplaatst wordt naar Moderne Talen, daar hoort het namelijk niet naar mijn mening!

Your self-designed future
Everyone one of us would agree that democracy is a great way to rule. Wars have been fought in order to install a democratic government. But why should we be fighting in other countries to install parliaments or prime-ministers when we ourselves don’t have everything in order? How can we instruct others about democracy when we ourselves have no idea of the workings of it?
In our land, every soul has the right to vote. Men have always had this right. Women have received this right some years ago. But children are left behind, screaming to bring out their opinions about their country, the country that they have lived in for years and might even want to rule in any future career. A group of people yet young, but with enough knowledge to create an opinion. A group of people who have an entire future ahead of them. A group of people, who are not allowed to tell what this future should look like. A group of people in which you and I are included.
In this very classroom, we are learning the ways of life. We gain knowledge over time and all of us will eventually grow in respected, well mannered and intelligent people. Differences will always remain. Some will have better manners, some will be respected more and some will gain and preserve more knowledge, but all of us will have two things in common: an opinion and a future. These two combined produce an opinion about our future. Think for yourself just know, how you would like your future to be. How do you see yourself in ten or twenty years. What job would you like? How are you going to get this job? Is there proper education so you can function well in your future profession?
What if there is not? How can you change this? We can’t. We can’t, because we can not show the government how we see our future. At the age of 18, when we all get a chance to step forward and vote, we are right in the middle of our future. At the age of 18, it is too late to change our future or the way we want to be prepared for a future occupation. At the age of 18, we can decide what the future of the generation after is will look like. But our future will be left out of the question.
Do not fear to let the government carry the burden of your opinion. Step up and decide how they should rule. We can even decrease the percentage of unemployment in our country. For example; We have a surplus of pilots in our nation. How many of you want to become pilots? Vote for a party which intentions are to expand Schiphol further. Increasing this airport, means more transportation of passengers. When the demand of planes rises, the demand of pilots will automatically rise as well. This is not alone for pilots. Think about doctors or any occupation you wish.
Some of you have no idea of politics. Do not worry! New parties will rise, focusing mainly on young people, who intend to have something to say about their future. They will inform every one well enough, so each and every one of us will have a clear mind, and a clear idea of who to vote for. When we are allowed to vote, the information will reach us, without a doubt.
Step up! Prepare to decide about your life. Prepare to mean something in our society. Prepare, for your self designed future!

Ja, sorry, lang verhaal, maar bedankt voor het lezen!

Ik vind em wel oke, maar mijn Engels is dan ook niet the cream of the coffee.