Your heart grew immune.

They have overpainted every of my corridors.
Between the walls its coldest echos reside, still.
Though now when i cross the hallway.
It seems so much longer.
I am reduction.
I am so much smaller.
Than before the storm blew...

and your mascara dripped off.
Still you are beauty
itself.
(the creation of)
A manifestion,
in an esthetical kind of way.

So with every step onwards you take.
I wake from nightmares in which i am falling.
I, am, failing.
Every test of reverse psychology.
(you seem bulletproof, that concludes your heart is immune)
ANY quest of social engineering.
(your conversation seems intelligeble, your thinking equals pain)

I'll never find anybody like you again.

[Dreamerfly]

Hier kan ik inhoudelijk(qua verwoording) niet goed bij...

Help...

Een erg mooi gedicht. Volwassen geschreven. Vanuit de woorden die je wilde vertellen, zonder je enige autoriteit op te laten leggen door wat 'hot' is in de hedendaagse rijmkunst.

Alleen de zin: 'I, am, failing' had je welllicht beter onder elkaar kunnen zetten dat in dezelfde regel gescheiden met komma's.
En een schoonheidsfoutje; intelligible moet het zijn.

[Maarten s.]

I'm impressed, especially considering the fact your dutch, your English is quite good!
You have a way with words, I'll give you that!

Maarten

Maarten s. schreef op 19-03-2004 @ 14:56:
I'm impressed, especially considering the fact your dutch, your English is quite good!
You have a way with words, I'll give you that!

Maarten

Good to hear, mi lad.

[muziekvlinder]

cut_off schreef op 20-03-2004 @ 04:24:
Good to hear, mi lad.

hahah, mi lad

hee, ik vind hem vet! echt mooi
alleen die eerste zin, misschien heb ik het helemaal fout, maar klopt die wel? "every of my corridors"...