ik heb iets in engels geschreven:kan iemand nakijken aub

[halilo]

hey hai, ik heb wat over mijn hobby's geschreven, maar ik ben heel erg slecht in engels, kan iemand aub het controleren, en verbeteren. ik moet in de klas praten, dus heb ik wat verzonnen. alvast bedankt.

groeten, Halil

I would talking about my favourite hobbies. My favourites hobbies are games and films. My favourite game is battlefield 1942. in this game you must protect the people . You can drive in a car, or in a tank. you can also control a aircraft in this game. you must kill the enemy with the weapons. They are also shooting back. The enemy is the German soldiers. You are playing in the second world war in the Germany. It’s a difficult game. The game has 16 levels. You can also play multiplayer with this game. With multiplayer, you can play online against really people. The price of this game is 50 euro. The game is made by ea games. That’s a very good game maker studio in America.
Now I will talking about my favourite film. My favourite movie is The Haunted Mansion. It’s a comedy film with Eddie Murphy. He is really funny. He sells houses in the movie. On one day he is going with her family to a big house, and there he become many problems with her family.

[mathfreak]

halilo schreef op 05-04-2004 @ 19:45 :
hey hai, ik heb wat over mijn hobby's geschreven, maar ik ben heel erg slecht in engels, kan iemand aub het controleren, en verbeteren. ik moet in de klas praten, dus heb ik wat verzonnen. alvast bedankt.

groeten, Halil

I would talking about my favourite hobbies. My favourites hobbies are games and films. My favourite game is battlefield 1942. in this game you must protect the people . You can drive in a car, or in a tank. you can also control a aircraft in this game. you must kill the enemy with the weapons. They are also shooting back. The enemy is the German soldiers. You are playing in the second world war in the Germany. It’s a difficult game. The game has 16 levels. You can also play multiplayer with this game. With multiplayer, you can play online against really people. The price of this game is 50 euro. The game is made by ea games. That’s a very good game maker studio in America.
Now I will talking about my favourite film. My favourite movie is The Haunted Mansion. It’s a comedy film with Eddie Murphy. He is really funny. He sells houses in the movie. On one day he is going with her family to a big house, and there he become many problems with her family.

Goed, daar gaan we:
"I will/would talking about" moet "I would like to talk about" zijn.
Favourite blijft enkelvoud, dus krijg je "my favourite hobbies are...".
Omdat aircraft met een klinker begint krijg je "an aircraft".
Omdat "the German soldiers" meervoud is moet het "The enemies are" zijn. Wil je toch van the enemy in het enkelvoud spreken, dan kun je in plaats van "the German soldiers" beter "the German army" gebruiken.
Voor Germany komt geen lidwoord, dus "the" moet komen te vervallen.
"Really people" moet "real people" zijn. Really is een bijwoord dat in dit geval niet kan worden gebruikt.
"On one day" moet "One day" zijn. Verder is het niet duidelijk wie je precies met "her bedoelt. In plaats van "he becomes problems " moet je "he gets problems" gebruiken. To become betekent namelijk "worden". Ik vermoed dat je wat dat betreft in de war was met het Duitse werkwoord bekommen, dat inderdaad wel "krijgen" betekent.

[Liesjeuh]

*drive a car (en drive a tank), niet drive in a car

*they are shooting back, niet also shooting back; want: jij schiet en zij schieten terug, kweetniet of je begrijpt wat ik bedoel, maar het is toch zonder also...

*Second World War --> met hoofdletters denk ik

*It’s a difficult game. The game has 16 levels. --> ik zou opperen voor een It has 16 levels, of gewoon: ... game, which has...

*You can also play multiplayer with this game. --> You can also play multiplayer games

[Liesjeuh]

*50 euros?
*Now I will talk
*...my favourite film. My favourite movie is The Haunted Mansion
--> my favourite film, The Haunted Mansion
*It's a comedy , niet a comedy film