My Life

[jenny13]

I’m dead,
I always have been
Nobody notice’s me
So why do I even bother
Doesn’t anyone see?
I still exist
Maybe I don’t want all the attention
But if I don’t why do I mention
Even bother to mention this subject
Maybe I’m not nice enough?
Is that my problem
Because Strugling with the idea the only ones who are gonna miss you are your parents….
Now that’s tough
Everybody else will forget me within two weeks
I always ask this question:
Who would miss me and remember me for his/her whole life?
The answer is : Nobody
Maybe they don’t show it
Or I am to closed up to see
To see they care about me

I just wish anyone would just really be my friend
Because I’ve got one who I can talk to, One to laugh with and one who understands me…
I also know someone who – I think – I can talk to and laugh with and who understands me…
But I don’t know if that person likes me or if it’s just all a big joke
That’s my problem number two
My total trust in people is gone
So I always play a little movie in my head
Starring: How I want things to be and what I want to happen
But in real life I always chicken out
That’s exactly why I hate myself
I am way to shy and don’t make things happen
If I tell someone this, they try to cheer me up
But I know, they know it’s not true

People say I’m a great listener
Others think I am a bitch
Some even think I’m someone special just because I write stuff down
Maybe I understand them, understand what they tell me
That’s not the real me…
I am selfish and shy

I always wanted to know something
I want to know when you’re in love
Is it when you think that somebody all day?
Is it when he’s your best friend?
Is it every time you see him you’re glad and hurt at the same time?
Because you know he doesn’t know you exist or doesn’t want anything to do with you
And if you hear a song that reminds you of him, you totally cheer up?
Is that the moment you’re in love?