[verhaal] I'll never stop

[lekker liefje]

(sorry het is Engels en à la Harry Potter, maar wel heel lief)


{I'll never stop}

I'll never stop
Until you're mine
I can wait forever
'til the end of time
'Cause my heart is in your hands
Don't you understand?
I'll never stop



1. You say that I'm crazy..


I'll start with introducing myself: I'm Ginny Weasly. I'm in the fifth year at Hogwarts now and long away from my Harry Potter obsession. I guess that was just something young girls do; they need a rolemodel to worship, and I guess Harry was mine. I became a individual in the last few years, not just Ron's sister or Harry's mistress (which I never was). And now I'm all grown-up, living my own life, with my own friends and to be frankly with you, I'm quite happy. Not the immense happyness of a couple of newly weds ofcourse, but just satisfied with my life. And that means a lot when I'm saying it. I've had a few bad things in my years at Hogwarts. First there was the Chamber of Secrets, then the short fling with Justin from Hufflepuff who broke my heart and because of Justin I got some eating-disorder. But now, after a lot of help from my friends, Cherish and Rose, I got out of all that. And now only good things seem to happen to me. I just heared from Colin Creevey we've got a new teacher in Potions, Snape's to busy these days, so they hired a second teacher.


So I got all excited about the new teacher and I hopped out of bed this morning very early. I like making good impressions, especially when it comes to teachers: I love being the teacher's pet. So I dressed up in my best, newest robes with my brandnew pink blouse under it and I did my hair a little bit different. After my preperations I looked (to just be honest for a moment) very very gorgeous, and I never say such positive things about myself! But, there was a problem. What if I dressed up like this for a horrible bastard like Snape teaching Potions? I hope not.. Then I'd feel like a double fool. But I figured to look good wasn't always a bad thing, not even when it wasn't for a teacher. So I just ran down the dormitories, to the Great Hall to have some early breakfast.. (and to hopefully spot the new teacher before Potions would start).


But as always, I was unlucky. No new faces at the Head Table. And as if that wasn't bad enough already, I bumped into Justin when I left the Great Hall. Damn, he still looked gorgeous! Way to gorgeous for such a bastard as he is. I growled inwardly. I hated it that he still had such a big influence on me, and on my emotions. The stupid git smiled at me and said: "Well well, aren't you looking nice today, Ginny.." I wanted to smack him in the face, but he left quickly enough. I wouldn't have dared to hit him, anyway.


Now it was time for Potions. Finally. Cherish, Rose and me were on our way to the dungeon, talking about some funny Muggle televisionshow everybody's watching lately: Idols. I don't find it so entertaining, but I just watch it with my friends, as a sort of habit. But now I was very curious as I enterd the dungeon. Where was our new teacher? I hoped for a gorgeous blonde, blue-eyed guy with class. But I didn't see anyone. Damn. Where is my prince? Very dissapointed I eventually took my seat, next to Cherish. She seemed to have noticed my unhappy facial expression. "What is it, Gin?," she asked. I shrugged. "Nothing." I didn't want to seem desperate towards my friends, if they knew how I've been dreaming aan fantasising about this new teacher.. They would laugh their heads off. I mean; it is quite stupid..

"Hello everyone! Welcome! I'm your new Potions teacher!"

It was a voice behind me, saying these magical words. But the voice had sounded very, very female.. !NO! I turned around, looking at the new teacher with a startled face. NO! He was a she! Yes, blonde hair, yes, blue eyes, but NO!, he's she! DAMN!

"Well, I suppose you're Ginny Weasly, I spoke your brother this morning. No need to look at me like I'm a troll, dear.." DAMN! I was still to caught up my why-am-I-so-fucking-stupid thoughts that I totally ignored the remark of the new teacher. Yeah, ofcourse, Ron had been telling teachers things about me, as he was a prefect nowadays; the nosy git.

"I'm professor Mary Cascade and I'll be teaching you all Potions, just to help professor Snape a bit. He's very busy lately, so I'm here to teach you the magic of potionmaking for a while. Now.. Let's get started.. Where did you guys end?" DAMN!

I was still way to frustrated to focus on Potions, so I started checking this new teacher out. She has long blonde hair, a slim figure, blue sparkling eyes and.. Wow.. Her robe looks very pretty.. I wonder where she bought it. But as soon as I was finished with looking at the teacher, I found it time to try doing something for Potions, so I grabbed my notebook and started writing.


It's been five weeks since professor Cascade joined Hogwarts as a Potions teacher. And my grades have been increasing and so is my interest. I've started a liking for Potions: I never knew it could be so fascinating, and it really is. My friends are starting to get annoyed by my sudden workaholic-attitude when it comes to Potions. But I'm just really interested, and professor Cascade is a hell of a teacher! She's really *bloody* good!


~*~


Cherish entered the Gryffindor commomroom, looking for her friend Ginny, who was sitting in front of a window, staring at the lake. "Hi!," Cherish said happily, approaching Ginny, who seemed lost in her thoughts. "Hai..," Ginny responded. "Are you coming? We're going to the Three Broomsticks, it's a night off, remember?.." Ginny only mumbled. "Hey! Girl! C'mon! You're always ecstatic when we've got a free night! You like going out! Remember?," Cherish said, standing in front of Ginny with a teacher' expression on her face. "No.. Gotta do homework..," Ginny answered. "WHAT?!," Cherish yelled," homework?? For which fucking subject? You've done everything already!" Ginny shrugged. "No, gotta do Potions.." "Potions?" "Yes.. I've got extra-credit projects to do..," after saying this, Ginny stood up and grabbed her Potions book from the table.

"You're crazy! You're really crazy!" Cherish grabbed her head and walked out of the room, pondering about which mental illness her friend could have.. Homework.. Yeah.. My ass.. What could be wrong?


To Be Continued..


***

Dedicated to Cherish Chang (find her on FF.net!) for being a very sweet friend.. and you know to whom this story is 'linked'..!


Please review! I've put such a big effort in this story! (it's about me a little bit..)

[Cinamon]

*N sync?
Nee ik was te geschokt om verder te lezen.
Ook nog, ik hou niet van harry potter.
Nice try though.

[Vlooienband]

Midden in de tekst verander je van Engels naar Amerikaans, dat staat niet erg netjes. Ook heb ik moeite met het volgen van de grote lijnen, het eerste dat je vertelt, namelijk van de eetstoornis, heeft weinig verband met de rest van het verhaal. Het beschrijft alleen dat Ginny een beetje een moeilijke tijd heeft gehad, maar het is niet steekhoudend.
Ook heb je moeite met het houden van één bepaald perspectief, je verandert, ineens nog wel, van perspectief.
De hele tekst heeft voor mij geen echte rode draad, je zweeft van onderwerp naar onderwerp. Het enige dat echt, maar dan ook echt constant is, is Cherish. Zij blijft hetzelfde karakter, van haar kunnen we een duidelijk beeld vormen en dingen verwachten.
Ook verwacht jij van de lezer dat hij of zij alles van HP af weet, door het achterwege laten van elke omgevingsbeschrijving.
Misschien leuk om toch meer dingen te beschrijven, de kelder, de studeerhal, ...?



Nog wel een aantal dingen over de grammatica:

"I'll start with introducing myself"
I'll start by introducing
"and long away from my Harry Potter obsession"
and long away from.. klopt niet. Beter kan jeiets doen als "and over my obsession for HP"
"I guess that was just something young girls do; they need a rolemodel to worship, and I guess Harry was mine."
Twee keer I guess, dat is hinderlijke herhaling. Vervang het laatste bijvoorbeeld door "I suppose"
"they need a rolemodel to worship"
role model
"I became a individual"
an individual. Bij een klinker is het an, bij een medeklinker als eerste letter van het woord is het a.
"Not the immense happyness"
Happiness
"of newly weds ofcourse"
off course of of course.
"I just heared"
euh... het is toch heard?
"Snape's to busy"
too

Als je punten zet, heb je twee keuzes: één of drie. Er is geen middenweg.

"So I got all excited about the new teacher and I hopped out of bed this morning very early."
So staat hier niet echt. Ook hoort de tijdsbepaling aan het begin van de zin te staan.
"I like making good impressions"
Goede indrukken is in het NL in deze context ook altijd in het enkelvoud. Beter is dus: I like making a good impression.
"with my brandnew pink"
brand-new of brand new
"After my preperations"
preparations.
"very very gorgeous"
Komma na very: very, very gorgeous
"and I never say such positive things about myself!"
Letterlijke vertalen: niet goed. Het is: even though I never say such positive things about myself!
"What if I dressed up like this for a horrible bastard like Snape teaching Potions?"
Lees zelf maar eens na, die zin klopt niet echt.
"not even when it wasn't for a teacher"
Twee keer gebruik van een ontkenning. Haal bijv. de eerste weg.

"Muggle televisionshow everybody's"
Television show
"I enterd the dungeon"
Entered.
"Very dissapointed I eventually"
Disapointed.

Hehe, idols noemen. leuk

"What is it, Gin?,"
Vraagteken weghalen, komma laten staan.

"I've been dreaming aan fantasising"
Aan?

"Yeah, ofcourse"
off course [i/]of ofcourse[/i]
"the magic of potionmaking"
potion making
"I was still way to frustrated"
too frustrated
"I found it time to try"
Letterlijke vertaling: fout. Nu zeg je: vond ik het tijd, dus dat je de tijd letterlijk vond.
"Hai..,"
Interpunctie en het woord 'hai' klopt niet.
"Remember?,"
Vraagteken weghalen, komma laten staan.
"For which fucking subject"
What fucking subject, niet which.